Dealing with a possesive gf

Pitot SG

Ok, my friend started dating this girl who seemed quite decent looking. But the problems started surfacing when they got intimately involved.

Sometimes when doing it with her, she would suddenly suggest to remove the condom and insist on having a family right away. This makes him feel abit turn off and makes him wonder if there is something wrong with her.

Then to add on, she started becoming possesive, insisting on him spending the night with her at her home. During the night over at her house, she insisted on doing it even though he is very tired. When he wanted to go to the toilet, she blocked the door, saying that if he went to the toilet, he would DIY, so she insisted on doing it for him even though he just wanted to really pee. When he got frustrated and decided to leave, she took a knife and threatened to cut herself if he didnt stay.

And also, when he refused to go over to stay over after that incident, she started to become paranoid, asking her best friend to come and knock his house door at 3am in the morning to see if there was another girl with her.

now, my friend is really sick of this and really wants to break off, but how to do it tactfully so tat he doesnt harm her or make her harm herself?

There is no question that she is mentally not rite, but when out with others, she behaves and acts normally, perhaps its just a family problem since young.

Genuine replies only please, those that want to say i can help her with sex pls fark off. thanks.

honeymouse SG

I guess your friend will have to be strong and break it off instead of leading her on. No matter how you do it (to break up), it will always hurt. It's better to do it now than later.

Pitot SG

since she already threatened him with a knife right infront of him. i shudder to think wad would happen if they really break up.

honeymouse SG

Make sure when your friend calls it off, it's done in public places not at her place. Hopefully, she will control herself better in public.

I don't think she will hurt herself. If she does, your friend shouldn't be responsible for it. We just can't force a relationship to work when it's obviously not working.

Pitot SG

yea, i agree with your last sentence. i feel tat he shouldnt have too much guilt in him.

Darrenchoo SG

get mutual friends to be present during the breakup. so in case she tries to harm herself, there can be more people to restrain her. also, preferably do it in a public place (but there is a risk of her creating a scene in public) and with her best friend around to console her. this is the best ur friend can do. other than that, dont reply to her msges or have any other form of contact, u'll only lead her on.

if she tries to do anything violent, ur friend may report the matter to the police for some kind of 'personal protection order' for bf/gfs.

Pitot SG

wont doing it in public with a grp of people make it seem like we are making a joke outta her?

honeymouse SG

No one should stay in a relationship based on fear and manipulation.

honeymouse SG

if she tries to do anything violent, ur friend may report the matter to the police for some kind of 'personal protection order' for bf/gfs.

While she might not have been treating him right, I don't think it's a sensible idea to "dump" her infront of others. She still deserves some respect and dignity.

parn SG

Ok, my friend started dating this girl who seemed quite decent looking. But the problems started surfacing when they got intimately involved.

now, my friend is really sick of this and really wants to break off, but how to do it tactfully so tat he doesnt harm her or make her harm herself?

There is no question that she is mentally not rite, but when out with others, she behaves and acts normally, perhaps its just a family problem since young.

Genuine replies only please, those that want to say i can help her with sex pls fark off. thanks.

Your friend realised things wasn't right with the girl when he started having sex with her, how complicated can that be?

Perhaps your friend should have wait till marriage before even having sex with his girlfriend.

No girls would want to have sex before marriage, unless they were cornered/pressured into giving in sex to her boyfriend. Try imagining your daughter telling you that she has already have sex with her boyfriend, how would that makes you feel? If you don't feel good about this, then tell your friend not to abuse the love the girl has for him as SEX.

Sex is not a gift, but it is the symbol of love and how precious that love is to a girl.

If anyone don't agree with me, then I can tell you, by having SEX before marriage with your girlfriends will only destroy their love towards you and your relationship, and it will only end up making her feel like a WHORE.

Go visit a real WHORE if guys really can't respect their girlfriend without cornering them into having sex.

Girlfriends are not WHORES. And keep that in mind.

So how much do you really love your girl?

Ask yourself and start cherishing her please.

So what can your friend do? IF he really loves her, then stop having sex with her and pay more attention to HER minus all the sex.

LatecomerX SG

Your friend needs to make sure that the break-up seems to his girlfriend that:

1. it's not because there is something wrong with her, and
2. it's not because your friend has found another girl.

Get him to find a time to meet up with this girl in private at a suitable place. Initiate the break-up and tell her frankly that

1. she is not the same person he knew anymore,
2. how has she changed and give examples (including the 3am incident) and
3. therefore why he doesn't like her.

If she requests for a patch-up, he must reject her firmly and let her know:

1. how the relationship has been affecting his work and life negatively,
2. he is sorry that he's not the one for her after all this time and
3. he believes that she'll find someone who is better than him.

After the break-up, you (not your friend) should contact that girl's best friend, if possible, to be there for her as long as possible so that she has someone to talk to and in case she tries to do something silly. If not, you should console her if you know her personally (do it for the sake of your friend).

Pitot SG

ok, i realised that the way i typed it out might make it seem that the cause of it was getting intimate with her. AFAIK, the possesive character didnt come out over night just because of that issue.

Oh and the sex thing, leave that for another thread. Its a whole different world now.

Hawk Eye SG

Ask ur friend to bring her to a counsellor or something? Think she needs to be adviced on relationships and consequences of committing suicide.

Your friend can introduce the counsellor to his gf as his friend?

dumbdumb! SG

hmm reminds me of my neighbour's situation.

weewee SG

Girls get possessive when they know they are going to lose their mating partner. Nothing wrong with her.

Y_Shun SG

She is horny man =l

Anyway...I guess its because your friend is not giving her enough security? Maybe the 2 of them need to sit down and chat more about trust.

Does your friend likes her? because I believe we can see that the girl seriously love the boy alot, and thats why shes doing so much to hold onto your friend.

Hanagata SG

rainee SG

Hmm, maybe bring her to have a talk with a counsellor?

Your friend has already lost all feelings for her? Or is it just because he can't stand her possessive attitude? Meaning if she learns how to curb the possessiveness, he will still stay with her?

kopiosatu SG

sounds like a crazed woman who married my colleague

who is unhappily married

Subaru WRX SG

wow. i think its better to get things clear before anything really happen.

she sure sounds like a crazy women to me.