I am pretty new here; apologies if I did say anything wrong; the
things I said are based on personal experiences and those of
friends.
In most relationships, there sometimes will come a point where
either one or both will get 'tired' of each other and starts
finding 'faults' with each other. These faults may jus be the
ones they have gladly accepted when they first got
together.
Actually, what's the area/s which attracted ur friend to the gal
in the first place? Always remember the first attraction to
maintain the relationship till forever. This attraction will seldom
change over time.
There's no right or wrong in any relationship; but by giving a
reason of 'can't take it', 'intolerable', 'tiredness'
etc doesn't give any one the right to initiate a break
off.
The utmost important point is, is it really because of
'tiredness', 'can't stand the possessiveness' or is
it simply because his 'love' for her has just died off?
If the 'love' has just died off, it's best to leave;
have a good talk over a coffee session, inform her best friends
beforehand of where d two of them will be. Do inform
the friends to have a fully planned schedule; shopping,
movies, KTV, anything. Once the guy has left, jus put up a 'show'
of coincidence of the friends meeting the gal and
asking (plus dragging) her to join in the activities. Let them
take over; they will definitely know how to handle her;
provided they know her well. It may sound like jus a screenshoot
out of a drama, but sometimes, traditional ways do
help.
If he still loves her, find ways to help her. It was
mentioned that she had a messy childhood; work from there.
Think of when the gal first started being possessive; think of what
actually triggered that to occur. Sometimes, the things we do,
the words we say, we may feel it's insignificant or may not hurt
anyone; but our loved one may not view it the way we do.
Every action does have its own cause.
Once the 'riddle' has been solved, it will be easier
to actually help the gal.
But, bear one point in mind, it may be a long, tedious path to
'recovery' for the gal; she will need support and love from
her loved one, family and friends. Once the guy has decided to
go this path, don't give up, rather he can't give up, he'll have to
walk till the end. Giving up may make the gal worse off than
before.
As for sex, nowadays, in the current society, there are
gals who still treasure their first time and will be insistent on
only 'giving' after marriage; there are some who will 'give'
for fear that their partners will leave them if they refuse; there
are some who use it as a means to get finances; and some who
plainly has a need to satisfy.
As for guys, there are some who gladly offer finances to
gfs/partners, be it out of 'sex' or out of love; there are some who
treat 'sex' as a 'holy' thing to be done only with the one they
loved; there are some who demands 'sex' from their gfs because
other alternatives may not be that 'clean' and there are some
who will really leave or kick up a big fuss if they are
refused.
It's a question meant for 'debating' and there's no right
or wrong answer on this 'sex' view; we choose what we want to
believe in.