Is she stepping over me?

last SG · 2008-07-05T13:55:54+00:00

Aya just ta han lar since u love her so much .Or talk to her tell her how u really feel

shadez SG

My gf & I have been together for almost a year. I can say i love her a lot, to the extent where the thought of her being unhappy/in pain irks me...

But if there is 1 thing about her i can't stand, it's her temper. She gets angry very easily, even minor things like hot weather. I suspect she has "princess temper". I ALWAYS give in to her & chase after her even when she is in the wrong. Due to this, i think, she is becoming more confident that i would go after her & started to walk away from me without even turning her head to see if i'm after her...

I do my responsibilities as a boyfriend as best as i can. I really do LOVE her, but sometimes, whenever she throws her temper, i tell myself: "Oh not again!". Because her throwing her temper means, very often, an hour at least of chasing after her, apologising to her & making her forgive me.

She always blames her temper on me: "Who ask you to do the wrong things" & "Who ask you to say the wrong thing?".

I am someone who is very soft-hearted. I can't bear to leave her & she has a way with me. She knows how to make me feel soft. Heck, i can't even bear to walk away when she walks off away from me. I will always, without any option, chase after her to patch things back as i don't want to ruin a beautiful day.

My question, most importantly, is: "Is there any way to change her temperament?". We had many talks about this & she would always tell me she won't get angry so easy anymore... But time after time, she does. I'm feeling really helpless...

Hello Kitty SG

since one muz change, den u b the one loh.

KungPaoChicken SG

Should look for those signed on female officers, then u can be 'Prince' le. LOL

Eh if my gf liddat I will just make her pregnant and let her feel helpless for a period of time to show my authority. Then take responsibility for her later on and smirk with a smile of victory.

Soft-hearted = gg.

ChoCoChips SG

dun chase after her next time she does it.

she's taking u for granted.

ghast. SG

i suggest u tell her friends about it. maybe her friends can help to tell her abt it more conveniently. she probably wont lose her temper on her frens that easily

KungPaoChicken SG

Seriously, ask her to get lost, say that NP and SP got hotter and better gals for me to jio, why must I stay here to get pissed by you?

LatecomerX SG

i suggest u tell her friends about it. maybe her friends can help to tell her abt it more conveniently. she probably wont lose her temper on her frens that easily

I can tell you, if he does that, the next quarrel will start with "euu lather tok to my frens than me izit? euu dun rikes me anymore har?'" bla bla bla. I think it would be better for TS to approach her directly in a more discreet manner instead; simply remind her about her promise tactfully (eg. in a joking tone) every time she throws her tantrum.

Lorry` SG

Next time if shes in the wrong, walk away and dont chase after her. Dont apologise or whatever.

She'd be wonderin "wtf?" and will spend some time pondering over her deeds.

Let her be the one who do the approach instead.

poobum SG

i dont get it... if you love her alot how come the thought of her being unhappy or in pain IRKS you?

you know what 'irk' means or not.

dont use it because it sounds nice lehhhhhh... anyhow only!

and...... why you let her treat you like a dog. maybe you should look yourself in the mirror in the nude and ask yourself if the stuff between your legs deserves to be there at all. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Devil1976 SG

My gf & I have been together for almost a year. I can say i love her a lot, to the extent where the thought of her being unhappy/in pain irks me...

She always blames her temper on me: "Who ask you to do the wrong things" & "Who ask you to say the wrong thing?".

Maybe she's stepping over you, maybe she's just like that...

The fact is... Can you cope with that....?

And if your answer is 'no', my follow up questions would be...

"Are you gonna do anything about it....? And would you....?"

Change her temperament? Heard of the saying "When there's a will, there's a way"? Maybe it won't just happen overnight, but take things slow and just try to make minor changes one at a time.... Cause if you can't do that, and you can't tolerate her temperament and behaviour, sooner or later, the relationship would most likely be a gone case.....

On one hand, ask her.... In order to salvage the relationship, is she willing and sincerely would like to put in her part and effort for this relationship of you two....?

FocusPoint SG

I don't know nowadays what is the definition of love for the young people but seems to me what you are experiencing is not really love andI suspect neither is she. You're both actually in love with love the act itself. No one who is sensible enough will give way until like your case. You're just spoiling her. Perhaps deep down you feel you are more inferior to her or beneath her and feels very lucky that among all the guys she have met she chose you to be her boyfriend. So it was just natural of you to want to hang on to her becase you feel that if she hasn't chosen you, you would have still been alone. That! is not love. That! is just being feeling wanted and belonged like 'Thank God, someone finally take me. I'm not unsaleable anymore!'

She, on the other hand may or may not realize it that subconsciously she can wrap you around her fingers but onething for sure is she certainly knows how to take full advantage of your weak personality to 'bully' you into submission.

Right now you may feel that without her you will be miserable and even take on the blames that you were really at 'fault' here for making her angry because of fear of losing her but how about in the long run? You are still what I call in the phase of 'love' and that is why you are able to put up with her crap but as I said for long can you tolerate such irrational behavior

Young man, we are all human beings with emotions and we continue to change as we aged and grow. As your thinking get more mature and as you meet more and more people especially the opposite sex you will start to compare them to your girlfriend. You may not do it consciously but it will catch you out of the blue. Believe me in that split second you will be shock in thinking 'Why did such a thought occur?' and in that split second you will began to waver in your feelings for her. You will question yourself of your so-called love for her.

Ok, maybe just maybe you truly truly love her for young people nowadays love to fantasize about perfect love that is "If I love her that much I will put up with whatever she dish out to me. I will love her unconditionally no matter how unreasonable she is" But don't you think you are over spoiling her and encouraging her to bully you? In that sense you are really the one at fault for encouraging her to develop such behaviour.

Your girlfriend behavior is no different from that of a child. She knows she can get away with murder so to speak if she throws a tantrum if you do not accede to her whims and fancy. She has you tightly twirl around her little finger. She knows she is very important to you thus she will not hesitate to openly show you her tantrum.

It may still be fine if she do it in private with you but if you let her continue and 'encourage' her in such behaviour I won't be surprise if she will do it openly to you right in front of your friends, colleagues and even relatives and families.

Anyway if you really think you really love her that much and was thinking of spending the rest of your life with her I think you should make some changes. Help her to be a better person to treat you better. Don't let her walk all over you and seriously review this relationship if it is worth your effort. Think whether you are the one that is actually at fault here for encouraging such behaviour from her and if yes try to change it, you don't want to overspoil her until where one day you cannot take it anymore only to regret about your action which by that time might be a little late as both of you may have gotten married or even worse with kids.

Do think carefully.

Good luck!

RedizAlertz SG

You cant change others until u hav change urself. Continue being soft hearted & be the victim of her temper or b firm & tamn the wild cat.

"Spare the Rod & Spoil the Child!"

huzane89 SG

if she really loves you she wouldnt do that to you.

you dont really need to break up or anything. when she throws that kind of temper again, just walk away. Be hard to get. enough is enough.

Then see how the situation goes. She should to know the limit.

Anyways, if you always give in to her, most likely in the long run, she would dump you.

Females like males who have balls to stand up for themselves. Someone who they can rely on. Someone of strenght. Get my point?

benjee SG

lol you remind me of my best friend and his girlfriend. my advice is to leave her alone for awhile as in not talking to her and meeting her she will start to realise after awhile unless she is really so "princess attitude". She is taking you for granted and think if you are such a nice person you deserve someone better then her no offence at all.

angel7030 SG

In every relationship, there must be a give and a take, tolerance, understanding and endurance for the sake of love is worth sacrifice if both are in Love. Either the gal or guy side, one must be soft and the other tends to be more hard, just like sex, you cannot hv 2 hard ones knocking each other.

I myself is a tempermental gal, and most of my bfs used to suffered under my hellish temper. So, i been wondering, if the one that can withstand my temper most, must be the one who really understand and love me dearly. And i have to admit that I do have feeling of love and sorry for him to endure my temper and still love me dearly.

My grandma use to say, scold because you love him, beat him because you love him very much.

On certain occasion, i do confess to my bf to thanks him for understanding me and we feel more in love. Your gf did the same to you, just that she cannot control her temper at time, and you as a bf will slowly help her. And when both get married and with children, whereby both are more mature and cool minded, i guess she will think back and said to you, THANK YOU, my love for your sacrification all these years, isn't that touching.

Wish your love all the best

huzane89 SG

My grandma use to say, scold because you love him, beat him because you love him very much.

Wish your love all the best

abuse

Gosu. SG

You cant change others until u hav change urself. Continue being soft hearted & be the victim of her temper or b firm & tamn the wild cat.

"Spare the Rod & Spoil the Child!"

Yup. Agreed with the above quote. However beware of the cat that bites back.

"Use the rod, lose your rod"

But truthfully, it is "Use the rod, lose the girl who doesn't love you"

-----

Fact is, I used to have a girlfriend like yours(mine was longer - say 2 1/2 years) spoilt her thoroughly. Same thing, however I was submissive(trust me I had to punch myself till my face swelled up just so I can take my exam in school).

Brace up. You love her, she doesn't. She just needs a pet. And you are a whimpy little puppy. Smack her in the face and say "you got served, bitch".

Giving in too much will spoil her.

xiiaostarry SG

she takes you 4 granted 4 sure..

just for once..if this kind of scenario happens again..leave her alone..let her know that she can't get her way all the time..

she defn. will feel frightened & troubled if you didn't chase her back 4 once...

let her take the 1st initiative to contact u..

n try to explain things to her that though u love her..it isn't a good way for her to treat u like that..

p.s : it does work for me =) @ least now i learned how to curb my temper & knows that is not necessary for my BF to give in to me always...

angel7030 SG

abuse

yo, i thot we got nothing to do with each other, and you also said so, and i thank you, so what the shit is going on? Are u having a problem or something.?

This are my grandma words, in chinese, ma is love, beat is sayang, a old folk saying ya, nothing more and nothing less. If you are gal,

Midlusionz SG

If u really love her.. Give in to her and talk to her to find out why is she angry