its been years since we broke up... i left her cos we had too
much quarrels...
now, we each live our seperate lives... each attached to our own
partners...
she's with the guy whom appeared when our relationship were
nearing the end..
i hate myself for letting her go.. till this day, i cant forgive
myself
i dream of her every now and then and it really hurts me till
this day when i wake up from such dreams...
its like i can never let go... its like a part of my heart is
dead ... its with her ..
i cant love my current partner whole heartedly but i cant let
her know the truth
it hurts too that i say "i love you" when deep inside, i know
its not completely
i hate to have to lie for the rest of my life...
i cant turn to my friends anymore... they all say the same thing
,
let her go if you really love her, its over, stop holding to the
past
i know all these but my heart just fail me when i try to get
over it
i really hope time will heal, because it has not till
today..
or will it be the regret that will follow me for the rest of my
life?
i really dunno... sometimes i feel like running away from
everything but i know i cant run away from this feeling... i want
to face it but i don't know how to...
i know i need help but there's no one i can turn to
anymore...
it's all my fault.. my fault... i cant forgive myself for
letting her go to someone else..
Fixidity.
Too much of that element fuels the inability to be adaptable and
too much endurance to burn.
That's probably one of the top few gross misconception people often
have about Love - they reason to themselves that if they remain
unchanged till the very end, it probably suggested that their Love
is the ultimate truth.
However, there's a clause in this belief; it's only when Love is
mutual. In all other cases, it's almost karmic - like a devil
lurking behind the stone idol.
And the latter is simply narcissistic.
Before people begin to congregate in this topic and start preaching
perseverence in being narcissistic in Love, allow me to throw a
question (as well as to the floor): why do you even think that your
brand of Love is the greatest of all and that she has no one else
but you to accept this lifetime?
In short: who are you?
The truth is that you love yourself the most;
insofar you don't exactly consider the other person's growth and
perspective as much as your own indulgence in possessing the other
person, like some insatiable hunger. You are
feeling so much pain and misery is because of your refusal to
understand that your 'perceived Love' is based on a superficial
belief of harbouring a non-existing relationship.
It amazed me at how you could felt so anguish about the failure of
your previous relationship, yet the crisis has taught you
absolutely nothing beneficial to implement into your current
relationship, other than this senseless pinning for a lost cause.
You ought to keep the memory of your failure to strive towards a
brighter future in all aspect of Love and not dwell so much in your
own intense emotions till it misled you into this whirlpool of
depression and a confused state of mind.
If you cannot handle it, then avoid putting yourself in such a
predicament. Learn to release yourself from this emotional bondage
and live a free man.
You can only move if you enlighten yourself the reason to move. And
the reason to move cannot come from others - it has to be from
within. 
Cheers
