my mum suspect got cancer

jayh272416 SG

Hope for the best!

Let me share a personal experience with you.

My aunt was diagnosed with cancer a few weeks ago. When my father broke the news to me. I almost felt like crying my eyes out at the spot, but I stayed strong. In the end, the operation was a success and she was alright after that. She even visited my grandparents and I yesterday to give us something.

So what I'm trying to say is that cancer can be cured, and you should just be optimistic. :)

Lefti68 SG

feel so sad. dont know what to do. Cant sleep. Hope someone can advise me how to console my mum. Her leg very pain since one week ago... now only can walk short distance. Went polyclinic and was given appt to see doc at SGH. She is preparing for the worst and tells me to take care of my sister and dog when she not ard. I just cried with her on the phone. I am married with kids already.

Worried she may have to amputate her one leg. Not sure if the cancer got spread? feel so scared now. Cant sleep. Anyone know more of bone cancer? Can treat?

Sorry for ranting all my worries here..

Hv she started chemotherapy oredi? Maybe it helps... Then dun hv 2 amputate her leg...

JerryYan SG

our organisation take care of 600+ cancer patients, maybe you can bring yr mum to join in our activities

pm me if you wanna know more

lawtohkg SG

My Dad just passed away last month after 8 months of battle with cancer at lymph nodes on his neck.

it all started last April when he showed me an unusual painless ulcer-like patch on his innermost upper mouth plate. After referral by the outpatient doctor upon suspicion of cancer, he went for the biopsy and confirmed the diagnosis. By the time he consult the cancer oncologist in NCC at SGH, it was already stage 4.

Cancer is incurable. Those that survived can maximally make it 5-10 years. It is like a windfall if the lifespan can drag that long, but notwithstanding the possibility of persistent pain, agony and sufferings of the patient. My Dad was on constant pain killer intake after the surgery and the months preceding his end, the prescription of the medicine to ease his pain extended to the most advanced type equivalent to morphine.

Sometimes it is more a solace to see the victim passed off comfortably than to see the tumultous life of physical suffering to go thru. It is not only affecting himself but also the family.

Meanwhile, I suggest you face the fact than to speculate worthless miracles to happen.

lawtohkg SG

Sometimes this kind of dramatic event happened to a family can reveal how caring the members are towards each other.

Some take for granted the loved ones' care and concern when they are in the pink of health. Just as tragedy struck and that loved ones vanished, the feeling of that loss and reminisce can be unbearable.

My Dad used to take care of us closely before he was diagnosed with cancer. Every Friday night before he went to bed, he will definitely enquired (sometimes he would wake up from his sleep and asked if we happened to reach home late on Fri nites) what we wanted for breakfast the next day (Saturday). He will walked the market for my mum and shoulder all purchase of groceries and other errands. We are being very pampered then.

Just when he was bogged down by the disease, he became bed ridden and all these chores then fell on our hands.

Now he was gone. I, as the elder son, will take over him to run these errands thereafter.

It is always the feeling and question to ask, "How much do I care for him?" when that person was no more with us.

Finally, be ready to accept that poignant sight of the once upon a time healthy looking average sized person suddenly reduced to almost a bag of bones and totally transformed character (e.g. In great hallucination due to medicine effect and talking with incognizance) when cancer attacked on its final stage.

Be ready to accept the pain of bereavement!!!

lawtohkg SG

Talking about chemo and radio therapies, please respect the opinion of the cancer patient on whether he is ready to take up these treatments. Do not force it on them.

As a layman and after some explanation by the doctors from NCC, radio therapy just killed the surface cancer cells by shining an intense light (100 times that of the National Stadium headlights) onto the affected region. The patient will experience throat tightness, dehydration, mouth/lips developing ulcers and other side effects like skin turned black after the 30 sessions (daily) are over.

For chemo threapy, it is more advance and more a treatment of concern. I always see as akin to re-formatting a PC, where it will kill ALL the good and bad cells in the patients' body and hope the body will re-develop the new cells, hoping to override the bad (cancerous) cells which were there. More unsightly side effects were manifested, some of which was hair losses, pale complexions, body weakness and hallucinations.

My Dad didnt opt for these treatments as he requested a peaceful and painless death than a disturbing one.

So, think twice before you decide whether your loved one shall subject to these treatments.

qlqq9 SG

Lawtohkg, what you said about the family members make sense.

My beloved mum just passed away. When mum was hospitalised the family members waiting for her to pass on. They rather let her go becos nobody want to take care of her if she is discharged. I was very angry and disappointed.

MeepokBoy SG

What kind of family members dont take care of their own mother? These unfilial creatures should be ashamed of themselves.

lawtohkg SG

Lawtohkg, what you said about the family members make sense.

This is saddening. You mean your family members dun even wanna care for your mum? How about yourself?

A great sin for any children not caring for their parents, be them alive or dying.

Just imagine a few decades down the road and your kids do the same for you.

It is a great relief for your mum who are now in netherworld. No eye see.

But her poor soul will be weeping as she set eyes upon you all ingrates on earth in the mortal domain.

Not because she was abandoned but rather she saw the poignant future of you all who face the same predicament (or even worse) like herself.

Ahm97sic SG

Dear ComputerM, the diagnosis can be done easily with a bone scan. The nuclear medicine doctor will inject a small amount of nuclear substance into the arm and the patient will will have to wait for two to four hours so that the substance will move round the whole body. The scaning will then be done. The scaniing will take 30 to 45 minutes. The result will show whether the patient has bone cancer. The doctor will also use blood test to identify the various tumuour markers. A positive result will show that the patient has cancer.

Regards,

ahm97sic

Inexperience01 SG

Spent more time with her. If i were you, i will just move in and stay together with her for the time being. Spent more time with her, that's the most i can do as a son. Take care.

foxwalk SG

My Dad just passed away last month after 8 months of battle with cancer at lymph nodes on his neck.

Sometimes it is more a solace to see the victim passed off comfortably than to see the tumultous life of physical suffering to go thru. It is not only affecting himself but also the family.

Meanwhile, I suggest you face the fact than to speculate worthless miracles to happen.

My dad passed away almost 2 years ago only one month after being diagnosed with cancer. He had a small swollen thing on his neck but still went for holiday but just after one week of holiday (and another week of being stuck overseas due to sickness), the lump had ballooned.

To make matters worse, he had lung infection. He was diagnosed in May 2006 with cancer but doctors could not find what the source is. Shortly after he got admittd to hospital again because of breathing difficulties due to pneumonia. He never made it out. During his stay at SGH, he was hallucinating (maybe too many checks and SGH screwed up his blood sample and took his blood unnecessarily again) and he actually stood up and walked around in the ward int he middle of the night. He fell and hit his head. When he passed away, he still had a big blue black on his face because of the fall. When I saw, I only felt heart pain and RAGE.

Almost every saturday evening, I will feel sad, cuz that's the time and day he passed away. It's hard to imagine someone close to you just stop exisitng physically, but the pain is very real.

Having said that, they may have made a wrong diagnosis. After all SGH (again!!!) did say my dad had cancer back in 2002 and would not survive beyond 3 months...

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