Two days ago is the 1st
time I saw her after such a long time. It was slightly around 2
years. I had text message her a few day ago asking whether she is
free or not. To my surprise she reply yes. So excited, was I in
meeting her. I got there an hour earlier just to wait. In my mind I
keep on going over and over what I am going to say later.
Just before our meeting she text to
say she will be late, but thats what I had expected from her. From
all those past dates with her, I realized that she is always late,
ha ha. But that is fine with me.
But I told her never mind just take
her time and get here safety. When the appointed time came and
went, I begin to worried, have anything bad happen to her. It was
only when she text me saying where she will meet me , did my heart
calm down, “she is alright!” I thought to myself. I rush to the new
location and just as I turn around the corner, I lay my eyes on
her. She still looks the same after so many years. She smiled, and
I stammer, what happen to all my rehearse lines, nothing came out.
She ask: “ How are you?” “Fine” was the only reply i could think
of. We continued walking with no specific destination exchanging
pleasantries all along the way. Along the way she ask whether I
have had my lunch, I replied “No”. Cos I was waiting to have lunch
with her, but I did not say that out. I was a bit disappointed when
she told me she had hers. But in actual fact, so happy was I at
seeing her, I didn't felt hungry at all.
So we found a place to have some
ice-cream. To my pleasant surprise her taste is still the same as
mine after all this years. We, had both decided to have the frosted
malt chocolate. And so we sat and talk about old and current
things, for the better part of the day. I apologized for not
contacting her, for so many years. And when I ask whether she has a
bf yet, how afraid was I, that she would say yes. When she reply
no, I was so reliefed. Thoughts tumble throught my head. I had so
much I wanted to say but the words just won't come out. I wanted to
tell her how much I missed her, how I thought of her every morning
when I wake, how whenever I felt lonely at night I would think of
her, but no words came. I wanted so much to know what she is
thinking at that point in time, is she feeling the same way as I am
or I am just another friend to her.
Time passes, soon it was time for
her to go, she is meeting another friend for movie, I know its a
guy and deep in my heart I felt so sad I did not want to let her
go. But there is nothing I can do, so I accompany her back to her
car. Still unable to say what I wanted to say.
When we were at her car we began
discussing about the route she has to take. My face was just beside
her face as we look at the map. How I wanted at that moment to turn
and hold her, but I held back. So we parted ways and all I can do
is look at the rear of her car as she drives off..
I wander around for a while not
knowing what to do, I contemplated going to where she is going just
so I might have a chance of bumping into her again. But I did not
do it, I just went back. Throughout the night I just sat there
thinking of all the memories we have together. I text her again
around 11 plus telling her how sorry I was for being so quiet. I
just don't know when we will be able to meet again. I just miss her
so much.
Sorry about my rantings here. Just
wanted to tell someone else my thoughts and feeling. Just hope that
she could by chance see this post. No, i do not think she frequent
this forum. And I know its stupid that i am posting in a forum that
she does not goes to, but thats the point i am doing it.
I am not looking for sympathy, just
empathy...
