hello guys
i need some help here. i cant stop feeling jealous whenever any guy
gets close with my girlfriend. I don't know whether i am being over
possesive or not. But i do
know one thing. I hate this feeling.
there was this once when i found out that the password for her to
log into the computer is her ex-bf handphone number. i dunno how to
describe how i feel when i
found out about that. she told me that her father and younger sis
use her computer too so last time when she tried to change the
pass, her father scolded her for
changing becoz he already memorised that "password". so she kept
her ex-bf handphone number as the password. We were already 3
months plus being
together at that time. Is it a valid reason to keep ur ex bf hp
number as password for ur laptop? i mean, she take quite sometime
to memorise mine but she
already still have her ex-bf number all at her fingertips. I cant
bear to imagine that the past few months everytime she turn on her
laptop, she will be reminded of
her ex-bf and everytime before we even chat on msn, she will type
in the password which will remind her of her ex-bf before me. she
said she changed the pass
one week later after the incident. i didnt try myself to see
whether she changed it though.
and there was this once she went for a camp. she was a station
master with another guy. i was in school at that time and decided
to find her. we talked a bit and
told her i wanna see her event but only from afar. well everything
was going fine. the camp participants were very enthusiastic. it
was when the group left when
things happened. i was sitting down from a higher level and all was
clear view. she knew that too. the group of participants left and
the other station master (guy)
started to playfully splash water at my gf. my gf than laugh and
shout2 throwin back some water sending signals to the guy that it
is an acceptable behaviour.
the guy started to playfuly chase my gf with water they both chase
each other splashing water happily and laughing. after the pail of
water finish. the guy and my
gf took one pail each. stand close to each other, talk2 than walk
side by side out of my view to a toilet to refill water.all this
happened with my gf knowing me
looking down at her. but she did came back and called me to ask
where i am and found me with a dissapointed face. i mean is it me
being jealous too easily or i
was right to be jealous? where do i draw the line? sumone help me
please.
There isn't
a thing as the prerogative to be jealous; we merely justify this
feeling as a result of some external events that we did not how to
resolve or interpret emotionally, hence we classify it as jealousy.
There isn't an absolute line to draw, other than independent self
regulation to minimize feeling crappy.
The password thing,
imho, is completely nonsense. CloUdiSm classify it as symbolic
jealousy, where people are affected because they compose meaning to
an act or behavior that by itself has no other implication other
than its functional meaning. You unconsciously suspect that there
'must' be something going on within her, since she is using her
ex-bf mobile number, but hell, that probably represents none of
your speculation.
What happens is that you
are likely:
1) You are an insecure
person.
2) Sees love as a form
of possession. (Unconscious perception belongs to a lower plane in
love - CloUdiSm).
As for her playing a
fool, are you expecting her to wear a stern face and go through the
camp as if the world owes her a great deal? Of course she would
want to make merry and have fun. Your emotions are a trigger of
your defensive mechanism - when you find it difficult to
accommodate the new found knowledge internally and resolve it
(probably worst if you are a Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius or
Taurus).
Everyone generally
suffers various degree of jealousy - the only cause for concern
lies when jealousy adversely affects the relationship, be it
whether it is justified or not. One myth about jealousy is that
some people believed that it only manifest through triggering from
the external environment - but the truth is that it's almost 100%
an inside job. Jealousy is a self demon - the people around you
cannot feel the intensity of your emotion, unlike anger or fear,
and it is often insidious.
Like some hideous
phantasmal forces, it feeds on your gnawing inferiority, gaining
strength as your self esteem fades from the lack of holistic
understanding in love. If you want to work on 'jealousy', you got
to work on your insecurity - by patching the emotional
vulnerabilities that allow this 'demonic emotions' to exploit your
inner self.
The causes of insecurity
are myriad and it isn't easy to pinpoint the exact root; even more
arduous to implement changes.
But I will just leave
you with a simple thought to ponder:
You can't stop love from
leaving on its own accord, but you have every span of control to
prevent yourself from pushing love away. Ironically, most people
understood this only when they understood regret. Perhaps
enlightenment and regret is but two side of the coin, derived from
the same product. 
Cheers
