Im a girl who is overweight since young. I am now 19. It is not
that I couldn't be bothered to lose some weight. I have tried
various ways of losing weight. From chinese accupuncture, popping
pills, even going to a slimming centre. My weight just bounces back
no mather how hard i control my diet or lifestyle.
I think I have low metabolism rate, because I do not usually eat
alot, most of the times, even lesser than most of my 'skinny'
friends.
During my secondary school days, which most people associate of
being the happiest or most fun part of thier life, I actually
detest it the most. Boys in my class and other classes usually make
fun of my appearance, calling me names like "mountain" and always
calling me by my full name. I have never dared to tell this to
anyone, even my closest family, I don't want them to worry about
me. That went on for the 4 years i spent in secondary school. And
it had made me feel inferior, wherever I go, when there are
people whispering behind my backs or looking and laughing in my
direction, I naturally felt that they were talking and laughing
about me. This resulted in my anti-socialness. I am afriad that
other people would hurt me more, I did not have much friends.
Being in the technological era, I started surfing the net,
talking at online chat rooms (people there can't see how I look
like), playing games at home to spend my time. I did not like to go
out, I did not like to go shopping. As most of the times the
clothes do not fit. Maybe being physcologically affected, I do not
even like to try on clothes that I could fit (as majority of
Singaporean girls are skinny), always making my sister irritated by
my behavior, but she did not know how i felt. Being stuck at home
most of the times, online gaming became my best hobby. I made new
friends online, and I have more friends online than offline
friends. Most of the online friends whom I met, actually became
some of the closest friends i got.
At home, often, my parents would shoot hurtful remarks such as
'Your so fat' to me. Enduring what have already happened in school
in the day, I was still exposed to this hurtful words they say to
me, although its maybe because they are worried for my health
hazards. I was still feeling very down.
When I proceeded to poly, I tried my very best to make new
friends and change myself. I couldn't. I do not even have a usual
circle of friends to hang out in school. I was really
anti-sociable. So I am kind of a lone ranger in poly.
I want to change, I want to be more confident to make new
friends and be more sociable. But I have this mental blockage of
inferiority. Can anyone help me? How do I actually remove this
inferiority in me? I know the main problem is my appearance of
being overweight. Anyone have any tips for me to lose some
weight?
