I'm so confused over what I should do now.. Me is 19 and my
ex is 17.. She is still a first year and I'm into final year of
studies. We broke up last week as she said she cannot cope
with the stress of her parents that have been reminding her not to
get a stead, and her concentration of her school work.. and
therefore she decided to let go..
However, I've found out that there are other reasons that she
wanted to let go. First she cannot stand my attitude of dealing
with problems and the habit of didn't really plan ahead. She prefer
someone that will plan ahead of things. However,
I've promised my best buddy whom i've known for 6 years and
her that I would change and prove them wrong that I can infact
change, which i'm trying now..
And one more reason is that she had realised that a
guy left a very good impression on her and can take care of her
better than me and can plan ahead.. she intents to go
steady with him soon and i believe it's somewhere this
week..
I tried to show that I've change by showing her care and concern
and asking her is there any problems to share but what i'm getting
is just cold responses from her.
I intend to ask her how is she going to plan
ahead to deal with her parents if she going to get a
bf again and how is she going to plan for their responses
since she said that her parents had consistently nagged at her that
she shouldn't get a bf.
I feel that the reason she gave me on her stressful parents
is contradicting on what she's doing now.. like as if finding some
excuses to hush me up for the time being..
so what's your advice? continue to prove them wrong or just give
up on her?
and I'm sincerely sorry for the wordiness..
There are two
parts to this:
I) You are right in saying that
her reason for break up is merely a reason to diss you off. And if
you haven't realize by now - any reason will suffice actually.
After all, words are just words - the content isn't as important as
the intention.
In the other side of this
context: if a person genuinely wants to remain in a relationship,
even for the wrong reason, she will stay. Nothing can make her
leave if she is bends on remaining.
You cannot force Love upon
another just because you desire it so - much more than the
willingness for a person to be with you.
II) If you are determined to
change your flaws, it must be a revolution from within and not some
feeble method to 'win her back'. The latter is often a short term
measure to rebrand your identity, but since the core hardly
changes, you will probably revert back once the 'inflated
initiative boost' wears off.
People often talk, very
superficially, about how they will change in name of Love, but I
can tell you most merely end up diverting these negativities into
other section of emotions or energy and not learning to resolve
them through higher/spiritual understanding.
If your ability to evolve is
largely depended on the existence of others and their approval,
then you will lead a life where your growth is limited by the kind
of people that live in your environment.
Sometimes in Love, one must learn
to release before one can learn to walk forward. 
Cheers
