I have taken note of all your kind
contributions. Like Jojobeach said I should move on and not take
these things seriously. I really hope I can do that because of my
religious background, my responsibilities to the list of charities
that also include single mothers and wayward females and also my
family concerns. I do not feel that I have enough time to consider
these things in r/s. I will be going away for a break (2 weeks) on
a work/holiday with one of my charity body. I do not want to make
any comments except that I am trying to be a good person and
supportive of others who are less fortunate. But not knowing enuf
about Wendy and plus, she does not want to talk about it, will, I
think, cause some barriers to a long term r/s. Maybe I should just
treat her like a good friend in need of care and financial support.
I am not looking for anything permanent in this
r/s because when I do commit to someone, I will make sure that
there are no secrets between us. I do have my own faults and I do
declare them right at the onset of r/s, and I wish others have the
courage to do likewise. Otherwise, there will always be a nagging
thought if Wendy went back to one of her b/fs while I was not
around. Well, it is her right to see whoever she wants. I only make
sure she has the means to live and her wellbeing taken care of. No,
I am not a charity body but I do wish all my money can be used to
provide care of ppl who had been “down and out”. I am lucky to have
a good life and a good family support. That is one reason why I
choose to remain single for so long. So I can help ppl without ppl
needing to care for me and knowing what I want.
I do not expect ppl to feel like I
do. I believe in actions and doing the right thing. One of her
ex-b/fs is a board director of one of my charity body, a high
flying professional at that. So I must behave ethically and
responsibly when we meet for meetings. Yeah, I do feel like I need
to release my frustrations but maybe, a holiday will do and when I
return, I hope to have made a decision about these things. Why
complicate things when life is too short? Respecting Wendy’s
privacy is important to her because her friends worked nearby and
they always want to know more of everything. There will be a dinner
this weekend with Wendy and 2 of her trusted friends. I haven’t
decided to go yet because I do not know what to say.
Thanks everyone. I will let you
know when I have toned down and relaxed. Meanwhile, I will go along
as before and take one day at a time.
Thank you for being such a generous person to the needy. Our
society is seriously in need of people like you. Given Singaporean
life is so charmed, many has forgotton how to be charitable without
expecting any in return.
Now back to the main issue.
If you seriously believe you are doing Wendy a favor by
stringing her along in such a relationship, you are merely
deceiving yourself.
What you are doing , is just withholding her for whatever
self-ish reason you possess.
If you don't release her, how is she going to let another man
who can look beyond her past to come into her life ?
In a relationship, it is mutual admiration, NOT pity/sympathy. I
think you really need to get this part straight.
You need to communicate your expections and intentions CLEARLY
to her, now.
By keeping quiet and "going along", you are misleading her, and
it will eventually lead to dissapointment and heartbreak.. and that
is just plain CRUEL of you.
So, let her go, so she may find the right guy for her.
If you cannot make up your mind, let her make up her mind.
