too busy

get a life! SG

Broke up with my bf yesterday... but don't know whether I made a mistake in doing so.

Yesterday was the LOWEST point of my life. I came complaining to my bf, but he didn't said he was too busy to listen to me, as he had to entertain his friends in his house. Even if I'm with my friends, if someone calls and needs comforting, I will listen. I'm sure my friends understand this.

In fact, this is not the first time he's like this. At times he will lend a listening ear, only when it is convenient for him to do so. Yet, when he's busy (which amounts to most of the time), he ignores me. It's not that I meant to disturb him, I was really sad and I needed someone to talk to. I don't know if it's right to think this way, but i would rather have a bf who lives off me (but who would rather listen to me) than a bf who more often than not, gives the excuse that he's busy. In my opnion, that's just the LAMEST excuse anyone can give when someone needs a comforting ear.

My bf doesn't know me well. He will often ask me "do you have school today, whats your schedule like today", after having known me for so long. On the contrary, I know him quite well, including his timetable and everything, even to the extent that I could accurately guess what he was eating for lunch yesterday.

I felt emotionally starved yesterday. And my bf can't listen to me these few days as he is having his mid-term. But i know he will come looking for me on thursday, when his tests are over. (just as before) What's the point of being with him when you can only share your joys, but not your woes?

Zarks SG

already broke up so no need complain lor..

Find another boy who are more tolerate and understanding of your needs.

A good boy will know if your feeling unhappy by just listening to your voice tone. Find that boy. And that boy is me!

2cansam SG

your bf didnt know u well enough, he didn't made the effort to know what u liked and disliked.

well ,there are alot of guys out there who are more capable than your bf, take your time. Getting a partner doesnt mean it has to be your 'last' bf. It depends on whether u guys can communicate on a deeper level. There are alot of stages in a relationship. Well the both of u didnt managed to get past the ' Can communicate with each other spiritually level ' . What i can say is , dont get too distraught over it.

Yea , it is also important to share your worries with your partner, but since he can only do that when he's 'free' , then it's about time u get Mr 'better right'

cApitaland SG

how long have you been together.

i think that your bf was just using you to get in his first relationship. when he found out that it wasnt all what he expected, he lost interest and eventually became too busy.

i think you make a good gf especially since you take the time to know whats on his mind. you also remind me of my best friend, mature and understanding. just don't think too much ya. the fault doesnt lie with you,

jojobeach SG

get a life,

Your name says it all.

If you desperately needs a listening ear, why don't you seek your girl friends ?

Do you really expect your guy to drop EVERYTHING the moment you call ? Give your guy a break, NOT a breakup.

Frankly, guys are not like girls. They cannot read your mind. If you expect your guy to know you inside out.. you're expecting too much.

If a guy doesn't even knows himself.. how can you expect him to know someone else as well ?

Girl, when your guy asks you "do you have school today, whats your schedule like today", at least he is showing some concern/interests in your life. I assure you, not many guys bother to do that.

It's time you stop being so clingy/needy and really.. get yourself a life and some girlfriends to bytch about your life.

And honestly, YES you are making a mistake by breaking up with him.

If you keep this me me me attitude , leaving you will be the best thing he's doing to himself.

Good luck.

Devil1976 SG

Get a life with friends you can share your woes with if that's important to you... Don't let your bf be your only pillar.....

As to what's the point of having your bf as a bf..... I'll leave that thinking over to yourself... Often, things don't happen for no reason...

Zarks SG

i dont know lor Jo. But for me, if my gal wanted some1 to talk i will arrange some time for her no matter how busy am i. Plus, even though my gal never talk, i can know that shes unhappy. just need more communication in any r/s.

Jamie Zawinski SG

a man who understands a woman is a gay

Tier SG

I also prefer to have a bf who will listen to me talk when I feel down.

Someone who can give me emotional support, girl need to talk to feel better.

Guys doesnt work that way. He may be feeling frustrated that u are expecting him to give you solutions on something he dun know about.

But what you want is only support and a listening ears. Somehow he is unable to give you your emotional needs.

Zarks SG

I also prefer to have a bf who will listen to me talk when I feel down.

Someone who can give me emotional support, girl need to talk to feel better.

Guys doesnt work that way. He may be feeling frustrated that u are expecting him to give you solutions on something he dun know about.

But what you want is only support and a listening ears. Somehow he is unable to give you your emotional needs.

Choose me...

Hanagata SG

I also prefer to have a bf who will listen to me talk when I feel down.

Someone who can give me emotional support, girl need to talk to feel better.

Guys doesnt work that way. He may be feeling frustrated that u are expecting him to give you solutions on something he dun know about.

But what you want is only support and a listening ears. Somehow he is unable to give you your emotional needs.

choose me also!!!!^^

Tier SG

haha

so many good listening ears around.

hao gan dong~~

xavier1979 SG

Different people have different takes on what a bf should be like.

Personally, I feel a bf ought to provide the needed emotional support in a relationship, no matter how life turns out. It's one of the committments required, isn't it?

However, if a gal doesn't show concern for her guy and simply desires attention ALL the time, then I feel the guy could do better without the gal.

Since you've chosen to give up on the relationship, perhaps it's a good time to reflect:
- Did he really show his support only when convenient?
- Did he know that I needed a listening ear yesterday?
- Did I bug him all the time?
- Did I understand him well enough?
- What kind of bf do I really want?

It's hard to know what the actual situation is, since we only heard your side of the story.

But I do know:- You need more friends, not just a bf. Emotional support can be found in siblings & good friends too.

=====

PS: Feel free to drop by the Singles Club.

alwaysdisturbed SG

sounds like my gf….

angel7030 SG

Normal lah, you talk only, i guess by Friday, after he seduced you, you will be togther again lah. By that time, dun post here that you are the happiest gal in the moment ya,

aremeis SG

I am sure you are aware to the very details of his montonous life, that shows that he is predictable. The only thing is that you do not know what he is busy about most of the time - which shows that you have yet to understand about him. I think everyone' s life is like a book that has endless pages and chapters. It will probably take a lifetime to know a person - not exaggerating but it may even take more than that too.

I don't really know what is your b/f job and his activities, but I am sure if you had some common sense and tact, things would have turned out differently. I am quite confident of that, as no matter what we are busy with it would definitely end and thereafter, will have time to "Catch Up". Just exercise some patience and self control and asked to be around after his engagement would have been sufficient. If you mattered to him, I am very sure he will get back to you.

I am sure we will be rash with our words, actions and decisions when we are in desperation. Just try not to mention break up so easily if you want to stand the test of time for your r/s, lest you really want to. It isn't ever going to solve your problems. So what is so woeful about your woes that just can't wait? Just my 2 cents worth, here.

rafTiger SG

yo, giv yr bf some breathing space too

Isis SG

If you desperately needs a listening ear, why don't you seek your girl friends ?

Do you really expect your guy to drop EVERYTHING the moment you call ? Give your guy a break, NOT a breakup.

Frankly, guys are not like girls. They cannot read your mind. If you expect your guy to know you inside out.. you're expecting too much.

If a guy doesn't even knows himself.. how can you expect him to know someone else as well ?

Girl, when your guy asks you "do you have school today, whats your schedule like today", at least he is showing some concern/interests in your life. I assure you, not many guys bother to do that.

It's time you stop being so clingy/needy and really.. get yourself a life and some girlfriends to bytch about your life.

If you keep this me me me attitude , leaving you will be the best thing he's doing to himself.

x2.

The way both see in the relationship is different. What u feel u might do to convey your love for someone is not the same as how your boyfriend convey his love.

If you don't feel loved in a relationship, then what is the point of having one then. However, i think your boyfriend is a reasonable man and you should have reasonable expectation for him too.