A very lonely life

the_fallen SG

Today is just another CNY, i'm glad i'm back home after receiving ang paos from my relatives. I have to admit I can't stand them. They just either show off or show fake sympathy if you are not up to par with them.

That's another case altogether...but what i'm upset about is that, I can't seemed to click with anybody no matter how much I try to smile at them & all. They just treat me like , "Oh, I am just an introvert, looks quiet...it's ok, if you talk, we all will be shocked!" Maybe because I had a bad childhood so most of them knew abt it & maybe last time I wasn't really that .. how to say...awaken or mature or even know what I was doing. Because of that, I only had an O levels because I didn't knew the importance of studying & now...even if I would to take up other courses, it will be futile, because JC & a branded uni is of no match to the majority.

Also, I have not been attached all my life & I yearn for a partner to take care of me & me giving him all my heart. But it seems impossible as I couldn't click with anybody that I tried to be friendly with.

It's either they hate the way I talk (Which I think so, cause I slur a lot or talks very lamely) or I looked uneasy, maybe because of my bad childhood that shaped my deportment of today?

I am 20 years coming to 21 & I would like to desperately get back my social life. It's really sad I am living in a shallow world where people that succeeds gets the most choice.

with regards to your issue..

i think i'm pretty much or specifically almost similar to you in every single way..

just that i'm grew up faster in terms of exposure to the adult society and how the adults handle problems etc..

for you to grow and learn..

start working..

get a proper education..then work..while at the same time, take up a sports which requires team work..be it dancing..advanture club..or scuba diving, mountain climbing etc..

through these activities, i think you shld be able to work through and find your direction.

forums is just a place for you to hand around to disucss problems, and share your views..but don't stay online too long like i did in the past, else your introvert nature will not change.. i learnt this from experience..

anything else..just pm me..since i'm currently an NSF..don't really have time to log in that often...but i'm more than happy to help out..

popikachu SG

Friends...
You just need to find the real group of friends in your life...

I am sure you have a group of friends right? Even though you are not close with them?

How about trying to have a meal with them some day? Just call up some of them and ask them to have lunch or dinner together...

Or you can join us to chat in this forum too ^^

Meilin86 SG

You are not alone. Some people have many friends, but they still feel lonely. Look up to your true friends and discuss your problem with them.

caleb_chiang SG

It's either they hate the way I talk (Which I think so, cause I slur a lot or talks very lamely) or I looked uneasy, maybe because of my bad childhood that shaped my deportment of today?

I am 20 years coming to 21 & I would like to desperately get back my social life. It's really sad I am living in a shallow world where people that succeeds gets the most choice.

This is what I think... You yourself looked yourself down!

Nevermind what they say, nevermind how they looked at you! If you feel good about yourself, you should be proud of who you are!

I myself also hold an O at your age although I been through some courses in polytechnics but I didn't complete them. Now, even I am older than you and had started to get back to studies, I do not look down on myself.

Regarding the partner one... almost similar... though I had in the past and also pursuers but none were the correct one for me.

So, in conclusion, you should not look down on yourself!

Guardx SG

To TS

care to explain what is your so called "bad childhood "?

guaiboiboi SG

with regards to your issue..

i think i'm pretty much or specifically almost similar to you in every single way..

just that i'm grew up faster in terms of exposure to the adult society and how the adults handle problems etc..

for you to grow and learn..

start working..

get a proper education..then work..while at the same time, take up a sports which requires team work..be it dancing..advanture club..or scuba diving, mountain climbing etc..

through these activities, i think you shld be able to work through and find your direction.

anything else..just pm me..since i'm currently an NSF..don't really have time to log in that often...but i'm more than happy to help out..

introvert or extrovert is how you think about yourself.although i spending alot time on computer but i communicate not too bad.

Isis SG

Hmm introvert is definitely not the reason for the sort of treatment one is getting.

There is a difference between people who don't share themselves with others and being introvert/extrovert.

The more positive joy you share with others, the more friends you will gain.

Btw social skills are not born. It comes with learning and training.

Ed11790 SG

u want to get to the position where everyone respects u…..........

scribes78 SG

To TS and whoever else has a lonely life,

Life is never an easy walk. I used to be holding a high profile position in my ex-company and envied by everyone. But, fact was that I was never happy. I was always alone, cos' of work related reasons and I had to be seen as impartial and objective in whatever decisions I made.

After I left, I still led a loner's lifestyle. People do move on and change. I just turned 30. Life is as such. The older we get, the harder it is to maintain a social circle. Unless you got kaki who don't believe in marriage, it is quite tough to maintain a stable social circle.

Leave everything to fate and be happy. There are plenty of people out there who don't have enough to eat. Must learn to appreciate the fact that most of us here are living well and don't need to sell b**kside or anything to make a living.

Guess its hard to learn how to appreciate the better things in life, if nothing adverse happens to one. If really sian, just bring car out for a spin or something. If don't have car, go post some stuff on the forum. ;)

Hextar SG

Dear TS, i can kind of understand how you feel. I'm also an introvert with a small circle of friends. I lead a lonely life and i find it hard to communicate with strangers.

When i do things alone, i hate it because i feel very lonely. Whenever i look at others life, i envy them..

Its not that we do not want to interact with others, but i find myself always find myself always thinking of others negatively, thus unable to bring myself to trust others. Also my previous experience and childhood cause me to be like this i guess.

However, we should keep trying hard because we only had 1 life. Its short so we should cherish it. Good luck. If u wanna talk u can pm me.

Isis SG

Dear TS, i can kind of understand how you feel. I'm also an introvert with a small circle of friends. I lead a lonely life and i find it hard to communicate with strangers.

When i do things alone, i hate it because i feel very lonely. Whenever i look at others life, i envy them..

However, we should keep trying hard because we only had 1 life. Its short so we should cherish it. Good luck. If u wanna talk u can pm me.

Hello Hextar,

i can somehow relate to what u have said.

In psychology, belief holds the key in how we view things and live out our life. Some of the belief are moulded by our past experience, some which are bad experience that has a negative effect on our current lifestyle. However the unhealthy belief can be changed by what we can do now.

take heart too.

Isis SG

darn...

VL SG

wah angel,

u sure u can make guy kneel infront of you ?

happysufer SG

Let me ask you a question, does thinking about your past childhood bad experience makes u feel better? If your answer is No, y continued to bother it, since u already said is past. Y did u say that pple do not like the way you talk? Have u questioned yourself how to make yourself well-liked? How can you improve in yourself? I think you just need more confident in yourself and stop letting your past childhood affects you in a bad way cause you will not help you in your life.

artpark SG

woo nice 1 haha and ts just look on the bight side ba :D cheers for u

artpark SG

opppps bright *

aremeis SG

I think you are aware of your short comings and I think that is the 1st step towards being successful with relationship.

I think a lot of times people are simply ignorant about their own short comings and flaws - insisting that they are what they are without realizing that they need to be sensitive to what turn offs might be to others as much as to us.

Try and improve yourself. Be positive and read up widely. Catch up with some self improvement books, you may try some of the Dale Carnegie titles for a start. I am sure you have your turn offs which you might not like your future partner to have , so just be mindful that the other party will have them too. Don't try to be another serial drama character, they are just entainment fiction and could not be what you are.

Try not to rush and start off on the right footing.

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