Of Travelling and Relationship

last SG · 2007-10-01T14:24:11+00:00

Hmmm ? What happened to the Other Guy ? Traveling for work is never fun. At least you are single. My brother needs to travel a lot, and he misses his kids...

TheGoodEarth SG

Have you considered marrying a old woman? A 24 year-old man has just married a woman 58 years older than him. I am sure you will find a very very matured woman, who will not have any sense of insecurity nor will she whine like a baby or worse still throw the baby out together with the bath water.

AndrewPKYap SG

Change job... to one that does not require you to go overseas.

Short Ninja SG

24 year old man marry 58year older is ok mmmm that is interesting but then she would be 82 years old.At that age I thought old women do start throwing babies out together with the bath water Laughing .One question only- Are you a matchmaker for the old folks home? Embarassed Mr. Green

de_middle SG

Rolling Eyes

TheGoodEarth SG

ai, I like to match myself to a 24-year old gal.

ozzy_gurl SG

I think, as an almost 21 year old woman myself, that your gf is starting to miss you just that little bit too much when you go away for work. She is obviously getting jealous of your work, which is understandable. However, even though she is only 21, she should be mature minded enough to understand that what you do with your career now will affect how your future together is. You need to talk to her, seriously, and tell her you want her just to sit quietly and listen to you while you explain your positon and your feelings about her tantrums (that's what they are). Once you have fully explained everything to her, without getting angry, or seeming frustrated, then give her the chance to explain to you why she is like this, while you sit quietly and listen to everything she has to say. Once you have noth fully explained yourselves.then it will be easier for you both to decide what you need to do, as you will both know each others honest feelings. Very Happy

I hope I've helped.

angel7030 SG

Originally posted by Cpt.ZR:
well.. sometimes women are hard to please...

[b]sometimes women are very attention seeking...
sometimes it can be damn irritating..

but think of it this way... At the end of the day you still have her missing and loving you like no one else... [other than your mother]

Isnt that good enough?

well.. i know i'm not helping much lar.. hah but thats my point of view la...

and sometimes younger women are abit more childish in their thinking... i duno abt yr gf la... but.. yeah.. i thnk its true.[/b]

Huh, yr posting is an insult to all women.

We are easy going, it is you men the one to get hardened and never easy to please. If we are attention seeker and irritating, why so many men fell on their knees over us??? Nobody ask them for it.

teraexa SG

Let's be fair to both genders.

There are girls who are hard to please and there are also guys who are hard to please.

It depends on the personality of the person, not the gender of the person.

You cannot use a broad paintbrush to tar any particular gender.

Hope that everyone keeps that in mind before making sweeping statements.

Cheers.

shrekho SG

Hello All

It's really nice to know that all are willing to help with some kind words of
advice, at least I know I am not alone.

I went for a short break yesterday. Did some community event work, cycled
to the beach, have some wind, ate lots for dinner, and a lot for supper with
friends who did not managed to get me during my absence in SG.
Unwinded a little yesterday, a little fresher for today.

I should at least try to respond to all of you,but timing is sometime a
constraint in an application.

Anyway, here goes---

soulwinner:
Just a little reminder, ladies and woman are people. Human Beings. Not
commodities like soccer balls. I assume my thread might sound like I
want to break, therfore I apologise for misleading you. What I am trying
to do is salvage and refresh this relationship, at least from my part.

BadzMaro:
She is not stopping me from advancing in my career, but just giving me
some mental short breathes. Whatever she do to make me unhappy, I do
not and had not brought them into work before.
Not so sure about marriage later though...

angel7030:
She somehow does not understand me and my job, because we are from
totally different field of work. Chemical versus Computers......
I have told her about future delegation, but her stand point is rather
negative. She asked this, " How are you going to respond to the children
in the future?" It's something which I can't reply yet, as I don't know what
holds in the future.

cannyong
My GF had nearly jumped ship once, last year while I was away for a long
period, like 3 months. She got caught by friends and onlines blogs, but
I forgive her, as I felt it was not her fault, but mine and the third party.
As for the ranting and bearing, I am not sure when I might break down
big time over it. Hopefully not in the near future.

elindra
Congrats to your marriage, no matter how ago was it! I guess you and your
husband have managed to worked it out. It is something which I should try
to follow, which is also something where I am still directionless.

jojobeach
One Example: I am having my afternoon nap and she shakes me up claiming
this,"You don't love me anymore, you don't care about me." She is at my
house surfing net, while I am resting from previous company's trip. How am
I suppose to respond?

Short Ninja
Neglect might be another reason on why she behaves that way too.
A little too childish sometime..

ozzy_gurl
She cries before 30% of what I wish to convey, and I do get upset, angry
and frustrated with her immature thinkings when we tried to talk.
Jealousy on work, I am not so sure though. Perhaps I spend more time
fixing systems and troubleshooting production line than fixing our path
together

Yunhaier

Lots of thanks for taking time to type. I really appreciate your help.
To put it easy for reading, I just love this:
Love is not about looking at each other; but looking together at one collective direction.

I hope on top of stopping and getting my path, I should ask and understand
where she does want to go from her path. Will we ever meet up at point X?

I also need to empathise one more point. I am not good looking, and in an
extreme out of shape condition. Eat,drink, fly, sleep and repeat routine;
I tried to sort out my thoughts before bed yesterday night. I did ask myself
this: am I trying to get attention as well?

Not sure how to end this reply, but thanks for reading and the aid given.

Have a good week everybody.

CannyOng SG

A nice guy u are.. Responding to all advice! Good luck to yr r/s Wink

jojobeach SG

Shrekho,

Somehow, I feel that it is not the right time for you to be in a relationship.
You have no time to nurture one.

While you claim that she does not understand you, she is probably at the same time claiming that you don't understand her.

In a relationship, it requires frequent interaction between two person.
Alas, while you are expected to be spending quality time with her, you are catching up with your rest.
The kind of feeling for her is like... you are here, but not really here.

The only way you can salvage this relationship, is to invest more time and effort.

If you are already feeling over stretched, perhaps it is time you re-evaluate your priorities, and decide what/who you need to let go.

Please don't expect a 21 year old to behave like a 31 year old.
Truth be told, even a 31 year old woman can behave like a 21 year old when it comes to demanding attention from her man.

Have you tried validating her feelings, instead of only expecting her to accept your current predicament?

Note:
Your situation is different from the forumer Kennyrogers.

While he has a light at the end of the tunnel.
Yours is a lonely, and dark one with no end in sight.

It is not easy to find a woman willing to walk in your lonely tunnel for very long.
Unless she is one who is busy with her own life and career herself.
But will you be able to endure the neglect from her ?

shrekho SG

Hello Jojo

Truth hurts, and sadly you are right. Your message does sting me, but
it is the harsh reality I have to face.

What I do not understand is the lonely tunnel.... Do I sound so bad?

jojobeach SG

Well.. actually.. not that bad for a woman who works in a brothel.

Tissot1853 SG

bro.. i face the same prob as u b4.. n i m pretty sure i make the correct decision.

I dump my then gf for being so immature, everybody deserve to have someone to love u for wat u r.

elindra SG

I don't know what happens when you travel and if there is even any communication between the both of you

But usually all these insecurity is due to a lack of communication.

It takes afford and work and yes it can be tiring but ultimately if the both of you tide through this patch, it will be worth it.

BadzMaro SG

I like this guy... he appreciates and read's everyone posts.. and replies to every single one!!

Good man!

shrekho SG

Hi! Not sure what you meant... I don't have a habit of visiting brothels
nor I am one working there as well..

shrekho SG

Hello elindra and Tissot1853

Thanks for your reply and advice.

BadzMaro
Just being polite and courteous as people who posted here
did put in effort or thoughts. One must learn to appreciate the effort
of others. Smile

I had some booze today, make it like 1am, at some pub. My senior
was telling me and informing lots of stuff which I have missed out and
I ought to do some relfection.

One thing is appreciation. If I can appreciate help from others, why can't I
appreciate the small things she do? Vice versa, I have never done small
things or favours, cos most of them is major issues.

I have missed out the importance of love. Love is not about being rigid and
regimental with life. Love does not need a partner to bark orders or give
commands. Sometimes, love just need a little verbal support from the
partner.

Crimes mentioned above regarding love is what I have committed. The
person who needs to do some soul searching is not her, but me.
Now that I am no longer at war with myself, I have made peace with
my GF and me.

I apologised thru sms for the neglect and over-protection towards her. Sometimes, people need to fall down to learn, and when they do,
a little verbal support will do. No need for barking commands or orders
so that she does not fall down. True, falling hurts, but once bitten twice
shy, twice bitten, never again.

If you are curious on what my friend told me, drop me a PM, as it is a little
long winded and not necessary here. Smile

To all who had posted, thanks again for the effort and thoughts. It is now
I, who has to do a little more thoughts and soul searching. Off course, she
still have to grow a little more mature, for our future and relationship.

Have a nice weekend ahead!!!!

Smile

jojobeach SG

What I meant , was simply. ( no offense to those who work there)

Your gf needs love and attention, not just money you earned.

I've read your last message. Good thing you awake before disaster strikes.
Whoever your friend is whom had given you some much needed advise, did a good job.

Good luck. Cherish what you have now. For once it is gone.. it's gone.

shrekho SG

Hello People

There is more than enough break ups and rejections in AA, so I think using
back this thread can save some space.

If you had been following this thread, I was supposed to have made
peace with my GF and me.

But like according to Jojo, this came a little too late...

It is like the calm before the storm, though we have been avoiding it, but
it will still blow and come over, leaving wrecks in its trail.

I have just caught my GF 2 timing me.
A very nice tall chap, fit, strong and handsome. Something like
every girl's dream. From my POV, that guy looks perfect. Behavior
is very gentleman and polite.

This is the second time she is doing this, and I guess I really cannot forgive
her anymore. I cannot think of a good reason why either. Though at peace,
perhaps I just cannot give her the sense of security or comfort when she
needs it.

The problem may not lie with her, but with me.

Anyway, thanks to all whom have wished me well and given me sound
advice. Have a good work week ahead.

« Previous Page Next Page »