About a girl

kensongs SG

well done, u have revealed your feelings to her. now be patient and give her time to decide.

nehpyh SG

Hi Miso,

Just dun act rash....take things slowly. To me, a good gf is someone who's also a buddy/chummy, and someone both of you can confide in, enjoy the course of life together.

Do not say stupid things that do not have the chance to clear up or cause misunderstanding, like "you deserve better" type of bullcrap. 'Better' or not, it's up to you to make it happen, ok.

Ask yourself these qns:

1. If she's still with her bf, will you still be her friend? If the answer is 'Yes', then be her friend and support her all the way. No other motives. From there, see how you can develop the relationship further. Since you claim that you two can click, you know she's receptive of you as her FRIEND. Do not try to tarnish this short 6 mth relationship until both of you are ready. Guys always ready one la, but is she?

2. Are you gallant enough to give her the freedom to meet other people if you two were together? Both of you are at the peak of the social circle game and i s she ready to commit into a relationship. Will it be an open relationship or exclusive? Are you possessive? Do you feel jealous if you see her talking with another guy/s?

I dunno you but as a generic statement, be mature and show that you are mature to be a good friend, to her and her friends.

3. Will you be another a**hole like her ex? reference to point 2, both of you are young and she just got out of a crappy relationship, what makes you so special that would allow her to jump straight into another relationship with you?

Since you said she's the belle of the class, I think her ex probably felt threaten the same way. What about you? Do you feel threaten as a friend/ bf when she has so many admirers?

Gals are not guys and even some guys take forever to mentally remove the ex from their radar...

I think at this time, it's better to be non-committal until you are sure of yourself and her of herself. Meanwhile, just enjoy the company and offer her your support generously without other agenda. Meet more people too. Enlarge your social circles and bring her along.

Possession is bitter...allegiance is sweet.

Darkness_hacker99 SG

Means you have chances lor.

It's time you should advance~

Sent some choco and flowers.. Wink

ordinaryguy32 SG

TS,

Put yourself in her shoes. If you were her, there's a chance you might be thinking like this:

I have just gotten out of a relationship, which I have invested love and energy in, and have gained nothing but lots of hurt.

There's this guy (you of course!) who is nice, caring and is a great friend, and I feel very comfortable with him. In comparison, all the other guys seem pretentious, snobbish, and know-it-all.

I like him, but I am currently afraid to get into a relationship again, with all the bad memories, with lots to to lose. Status quo is great, we're great friends, and I don't want to lose him as a friend, it would be one of my regrets if I did.

He likes me too, and I am grateful for it, but I am really not ready. In fact, I am afraid he's going to push me, and our great friendship would be ruined. I need more time, to let my feelings stabilise.

Perhaps I am being selfish, because he seem to want a girlfriend, with all that intimate stuff, and he's waiting for me, but since I am not ready, maybe I shouldn't keep him waiting, however much I like him.
Therefore I told him weeks ago he deserved a better girl...

But I hope he can give me more time, but is it selfish to ask him to wait, at my convenience and at his expense?

Time will tell.

Hey, pal, hope that helps in clarifying your thinking.

nullifi3d SG

The truth hurts dosen't it. Haha

ghast. SG

lol, i hate this kinda neither here nor there situation like hell la. she's some sorta scared of a r/s i think, that's why she said you deserve better. she probably just wants you as a good buddy to stay by her when she's hurt. girls need that most of the time cause they very vulnerable at that time. getting close and seeing, hearing her may mean so much to you, cause you like her.but it probably just appears to her that you're an ultimate good buddy. Sad

Ray87 SG

jst take it slow. and dun probe about this topic verbally anymore. keep trying now n then to progress bt accept whatever responses she has. dun force it. good luck.

Maith SG

oh ya..one more thing..dont keep telling her u love her so much etc etc..tht will just scare her away..trust me,i know… =X

albinoworm SG

This idiot dumb? or are you retarded cloud?

Dont give advice please phuck off.

Anyway, well i feel that you should tell her that you really love her. Then tell her that you will give her 1 week to think through. During the one week dont see her at all. If she really miss you or something means she likes you lor. Yeah

Misogynist SG

Thanks guys! Seriously man.

I just called her while she's in Korea. She had a rough day there and told me that I brought a smile with that some idiot comment about snow and detergent fabrication factory.

Yea, I kinda admit that she might be afraid to lose a buddy. But seriously, I dont object to her going out/talking to other guys though I feel alittle jealous at times.

Just before she left, she messaged me that she misses me and I drove all the way down to her place and brought her to Cheesecake cafe or factory..something.

And I don't mind about granting her the freedom to hang out with friends, personally I would object if she forsake her friends because of a relatiionship.

I already held her in my arms and told her that, it's just that both of us had bad relationship experiences which is probably why we are cautiously treading the boundaries.

Btw, can anyone tell me if I make an overseas call via my cellphone to hers, how's the charges? just tell me if it's exorbitant or affordable.

And once again, thanks guys.

Can't really understand how did this end up as one of the featured topics. Ha!

Maith SG

i thought if u are at sg then u call other country who has the roam thing then u pay the normal charges but then the person overseas pays the u noe..ex one...my gf last time at new zealand say she call home to sg 1 hr is $7..

jojobeach SG

Excellent, you are on the right path.

On the jealousy part.
Here's what you need to do.

Find a good time to broach this topic, maybe after a good meal or during some quality time together.

In a very loving manner....say something to this effect.

"Hun, you know I have very special feelings for you. And when a man has special feelings for someone, he gets jealous when the girl gets too close to another man."

Any girl who is intelligent enough will understand this loud and clear.
If she gets angry, it's a red flag. She might just want to have the cake and eat it too.

I suggest you get a overseas calling card and dial to a land line.
Or you can research Voice Over Internet options.
Or you can use computer to computer voice chats which is free.

nullifi3d SG

how about using Skype?

FBI SG

that means u have chance to progress with her.

Good luck!

jeremy89632 SG

Ai ya. She like you . You Like her. Full Stop. So you just nd to relax abit.

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