can give me some advise?

princealex SG

hi, a 17 yr old guy here, i have this problem that whenever i get close to a girlfriend i would easily fall in love with her but would be rejected when ask for being my girlfriend and i would tend to slowly don sms/call her shortly(i know this is childish even though i dunno y i do it), and now i have fallen in love with my working collegue whom just quitted due to school reopening but can see that she dun really reply my msg etc, i'm may be a (hua chi) because i thirst for love, but i dun really wish to see myself destroying my own life if able hope to get some advise here thanks in advance! Rolling Eyes

BrUtUs SG

b frens 1st... + make sure u did your work b4 confess...

cApitaland SG

i think u are looking for love. the need to feel loved. be content wif urself first. learn to love urself. find love in ur family. then look for love outside. gud luck Wink

princealex SG

hmm..were friend already and lots of time she's(the one that i confess to half a yr ago) very dependent on me that make me feel like tat she love me too but was all wrong i dun really know how to control my feeling... sorry

Diehard_89 SG

it’s ok..17 at your age will have some hormones raging..once you see a girl you feel attracted to her..and with long exposure through work you confirm your feeling again until you confess but remember that’s not love..love at your age for an outsider apart from your family..quite impossible..love your family first before others and you would truely differentiate what’s love and infuatuation..sorry if it’s crap to you.

princealex SG

hmm your right...i've tried to love myself but can't seem to do so, in my family i love my family more then they love me, so i can't really understand what is true love as all my past relationship is a failure as one of my past relationship my gf cheated on me with one of mt bestie so well...thank for your wishing anyway

princealex SG

nope its not really craps to me, but seriously love can happen at any age, i truely love my family alot and willing to do anything for them including exchanging my life for theirs etc.but i dun really understand the love out there, i seriously need to be loved, used to be an emo shit whom use penknife to cut myself when feeling down even though it clam me down and easy to sleep but i feel stupid doing this so i stopped it but for this past 2 yr i'm being alone and the feeling of having gf by my side is getting stronger and stronger that i'm bothered by it every night and i can't seem to take it..

jojobeach SG

Hun, you're focusing your life priority on the wrong stuff.

You are waiting for some one to come into your life to make it interesting.
To make you feel special.

I need to let you know that a girl is not a hobby.

We WILL make you more sad than you'd think, and yes, we can rip your heart out and give you eternal migraine if you are not careful.

A relationship is not a fairy tale.

Most of the time, there's no happy endings. UNLESS you meet the RIGHT one.

Perhaps you may want to share your love and time with those who truly needs it.

I urge you to do volunteer work.

Give your love to the Singapore Association for Retarded Children, or old folks homes need people like you to help them with their daily needs.

Hello Kitty SG

no wat.

u no change mah.

u're stil an emo sh*t nw leh.

subaru67 SG

u have lost yr trust in the past... trying to build it back will be a tough stage.... but u need to do it else there will be old past haunting u all the way....

dun give soo much pressure on yrself that when u see or know a girl... she has to be yr gf... that will make u feel better and also having not too high hope will prevent all this

nehpyh SG

Hi Prince

There are 3 things you said here that you should be aware of...once you understand your own emotion, you will (hopefully) learn how to deal with it. Over time, I hope you will be a better person with strong character.

1. 'easily fall in love'.....this is infatuation. It's common to everyone. Regardless of age. For teenager, it's loosely called BGR, crush, infatuation. For adults, it's loosely called love affair [!] ha...you are not alone.

We are all attracted by anything 'new', ''refreshing', 'interesting'....be it people or things - we are just curious by nature. However, it is also this same curiosity that trashed a relationship.

Be genuine and sincere when making friends. Grow your social circle and you will find the right match. It's too 'boring' to keep liking others and not 'liked' back.

How to find out what you like? Too bad...there's no short cut here except experiencing characters of different kinds and asking yourself what qualities you like best.

Next, you have to develop those qualities yourself so that others 'looking out' will find you attractive too : )

Unfortunately at this age, 'attractive' usually means cosmetic looks so learn to look beyond that. When I said 'look beyond', I do not mean neglecting your appearance. So continue to maintain a simple, clean, and hygienic appearance
and work on other qualities.

2. We all have ego. Learn how to deal with your pride and be humble and you will go a long way. The problem with most people is that we are not good with words and most of the time, insensitive in our expression...so just in case you are rejected...dun take it to heart. Learn how to improve your 'move' and character and not resort to 'not sms her' kinda thing. Be gracious cos there is no harm having another friend rather than another foe.

3. The fact that you can identify this little episode shows that you are a positive and mature person. So, read and evaluate what is said and apply appropriately.

Last note, there is only so much I can write, so learn to sort out your thoughts and enjoy the process...good luck!

Archirodon SG

I feel that you are more of having a crush on someone than falling in love. Do not rush into a relationship. Get to know the person better. Expand your circle of friends and mix around. Find someone who share similar interest or at least have some common understanding.

More importantly don't frighten her by being too bold and outright blunt. You are still very young, take your time. Be a gentlman, you probably attract gals in your own ways.

Good luck in your search. Very Happy

princealex SG

Thanks all for the advise especially nehpyh, Archirodon, subaru67, Diehard_89, cApitaland, BrUtUs And popikachu whom pmed me thanks you guys for the advises will try to work it out some way or another

PS:Hello kitty saw alot of thread of you flaming others so not surprise of you here saying that

Cheers everyone and thks

de_middle SG

TS, dun be too eager to love.....what will come will come. When it happens, u wanna shake it off also cannot.

Not ur time to fall in love yet Very Happy

de_middle SG

sometimes what u can do is just STFU

princealex SG

hahas yup agree thanks alot too cheer bro

subaru67 SG

stfu??

de_middle SG

u duuno what it is Question

Uncertain SG

Hi TS,

I was just like u now, fall in love easily and yielding for at least a r/s in life. I feel emo too but i dun resort to hurting myself to ease my heart pain. Therefore, i am glad that u have sort out ur thought about this. Btw, i am 21 this year and i believe i have gone through what u have gone through and here are some insights that i have learnt over these past 21 years.

Alright, i know u fall for a girl easily due to ur urge for r/s but then TS, this is a SERIOUS NEED to surpress this urge. Why? Is simple because if u gonna have this urge, u will find that people label u as despo and even ostrasize u for it. This can result in further self-distress and undermining of your self-confidence.

As a guy, the fact that u cannot get a gf hurts ur pride (I have this feeling which i think maybe the same for u). As in y other can have so many while i cannot have even one. But TS, treat this as a form of test by God. What i mean here is, God wants u to know the significance of love before he presents u the right one.

Don't u think u will treasure something more if u fight for it?

So ur gf will be ur treasure and not just another girl in ur life. She is that somebody whom will care for u and u, in turn, must be a responsible and caring bf. Always remember love is mutual.

Therefore, my advices to u are to make yourself look better, read more self-improvement books to present urself better and finally "mound " yourself into a perfect lover so that u can give the BEST to ur destined one.

P.S. I'm still pessimistic about love but i know i will become optimistic one day. So TS, do heed the advices provided in AA so that u can find the "right" way to resolve this problem. Gd Luck Exclamation Mr. Green

subaru67 SG

dunno Crying or Very sad