Alright.. I just know this girl not long ago over the net. She's
not local. As times goes by, we find ourselves love each other
alot. She used webcam chat with me so I get to see how her reaction
are and knew she is not faking anything. We even communicate
through long distance call and she is the one who made the call.
She has been planning to come to SG to visit me and I'm very happy
about it. I can really feel that she really love me very much and
so am I for her. By the way, we both are matured. She is 23 and I'm
21.
Thing goes well until she decided to tell me a news. I know that
she had a bf before and had intimacy relationship with him. I can
understand that and dont mind her past. However, she told me that
she made a very big mistake before and really regretted. That is
the abortion. She told me that the guy want to have baby but dont
bear the responsibility. He cheated on her and she is really really
sad about it. With the encouragment from her family members, she
decided to make a painful decision of abortion. As she told me all
these stuff, she had been crying really hard. Though her parents
told her that it's better not to tell the guy she like about this
cos it's a sensetives issue. She decided to tell me the truth and
wont want to hurt me in future when I found out anything. I agree
that she took alot of courage and I really appreciated her telling
me. She was already mentally-prepared before she decided to tell me
this.
I really feel sorry for her... she had gone through alot of
hardship. She study and work at the same time to support herself
though. She was really happy about coming to Singapore to meet me
as she had some of her saving left. I was seriously very touched.
But.. this are different things... what made me really sad was
until now, she and her ex had been contacting each other!! OMG..
how can someone still contacting with the one who hurt and harm you
so much?? This is the fact I cant accept. I knew cos we were having
webcam and her ex call.. telling her not to believe relationship
through the net and told her not to come SG as she will get cheated
again!! (Seriously, I duno what to say) Her reply to him was not
really harsh and thanking him with sarcasm. She explained to me
that she thank him for breaking up with her as she now found
someone she really loved. (Oh man.. that was just great..) She
added that she never forgive him... but i cant accept this
anymore.... that is just sad... really sad...
She told me that she know how I feel now and she might not the one
for me. She's still keen about coming to SG and wanted me to treat
her as normal friend instead. Seriously I duno what to do...
Suddenly my heart ache alot. i told her that we need more time to
think and she told me not to force myself. There's no happiness in
relationship in forcing. I agreed. However, she message me that she
still loved me very much..
I know some of you might think that "Aiyah, if you turly love her,
you can dont mind her everything." , "The power of love can make
you forget one's past", "Everyone make mistake, why cant you just
forgive her?" etc... I guess you wont be saying this to yourself
when this thing happen to you. Imagine your current gf having an
abortion before and still contacting the guy that made her pregnant
though when she talk to him with sacrasm. Well.. of course there's
some guys out there which is really nice and open-hearted. These
are some of the good guys.. too bad I think I'm not. I know I'm
immatured at this so it's really hard for me to accept.
So can any kind souls out there to give me some advices? I'm really
confused now...
