Cancelled ROM

last SG · 2007-06-17T03:33:13+00:00

Wha Uncle! big problem hor, ok as a gal I can give you a few scenarios as to why she decided to call it off. 1. She still love her first love, because first...

TinySue SG

I think it's a blessing in disguise the ROM didn't materialise. Can you imagaine the agony and the suffering TS have to go through if after a few months or worse a few years later into the marriage wants a divorce?

TS should feel lucky no major damage was done to him emotionally yet. He should go out and give himself a chance to truly look for someone who is more worthy of his love and affection.

RonDaGuy SG

how about the health of your gf?
just make sure she is not hiding anything from you so as not to hurt you.

caleb_chiang SG

If you want my opinion... it would hurt.

I feel that the girl is merely taking a liking to TS and not actual love itself. She do not dislike him but it does not meant that she really love him.

I think that she discovered it long ago and thus had been avoiding the commitment. It could be the fact that TS is treating her too well that make her wanting to commit to repay his kindness.

I think that she was fooling herself all along and finally when the date drew near, her feet became cold and decided to back out of the commitment.

Do not feel dishearted. The cooling period could be a good step. It allow her to think thoroughly and decide who is the one for her. That is provided that no one is actually present in her life now or comes into her life during this period.

It would be better to end as it is then to drag on with years of sorrow and bitterness that actually will smear the least friendship that could actually exist between you and her.

So, for now. You can either wait for her reply or look for a new love. Do not add pressure on her as it will only lessen the chance of her coming back for you. Wink

Xiaozzhen SG

I am sorry and hope that things will turn out for the best for you and your girl.

Xiaozzhen SG

A beautiful story for every married couple.

DjMatrix SG

play dota and forget her

Y_Shun SG

I think TS got cheated for 5 years.

I think the girl is very selfish...she should at least give TS an answer asap? or probably should not have let the relationship lasted for 5 years.

Youth passes...very soon TS will be old liao leh.

oakley1976 SG

We met today. We talked. But there was no real answer to my questions... I asked if I am the 'one'... She does not know and not sure but one thing is for sure is that there is no 3rd party.

Her family are all upset with her decision.

Answering some of your questions:
- I proposed to her while i was taking a stroll with her at Pasir Ris Beach.
- She has no illness of any sort

oakley1976 SG

I feel that life is meaningless... heart is broken... lost of what to do.

I wished that I could turn back time. So that I could spend time that I spend with her again... wished that this did not happened.

I really do not what to do. How to carry on....

jojobeach SG

You are not the one.

A girl knows the one when she meet him.
And it does not take 5 years to know he is the one. So obviously, you are not that ONE.

She just don't want to reject you out right.

Let it go.

jojobeach SG

Take a vacation to another country.
Best way to heal a broken heart.

Ever tried backpacking ?

firediviner SG

poor thing man..hope she thinks it out properly..

oakley1976 SG

She is the best thing that happen to me… now that she is gone… I miss her alot… I really do not know what to do…

royale9 SG

hey Bro,

U need time dude.

rant as much as you want.

talk to ur frds, buddies.

Get it off your chest.

the forumers here can give 5 stars analysis of the situation or give u all the best suggestions and advices in the world.

but it aint going to help. cuz u r emotionally distraught. and u cant think logically and rationally.

U need time dude.

1st step - clear all negative emotions.

How?

According to scientic research, it is not possible to feel any negative emotions when u completely relax your body.

Do that now.

2nd step - get it off your chest and let go.

For me, its blasting the SOCCER BALL into the back of the net. how abt you?

I'm Aware that doing all this will not improve or solve the situation but being in a negative state will not either- between the 2 which will u choose.

If u r looking for solutions here, there are none.

cos we are not you and therefore cannot fully understand the big picture.

we can only speculate and come out reasons and suggestions which we think can help you.

FOr now... u NEED TIME!

Once u r back to normal again. u'll realise that this is a difficult phase u had to go thru.

Xephone_xenon SG

Wait and do not pressure her too much.
Do not remind or ask her anything about the marriage.
Thats the best thing you can do now IMO.
Dont think too much also, let things flow naturally.
Hopefully things will turn for the better then.

Good luck.

smudgey SG

Some how, I think i know how your gf feels...

I too come from a broken family... in fact most families i know are in one way or another 'broken'...

and deep down inside, i just have no faith in marriage... when my 1st relationship felt like it's heading toward that direction, i had to break it off.

cos in my mind, if i know i'm not ready and may never be ready, i had to do it. i can't let him waste his time and youth on me.

your gf may be finding it more difficult to let go...

ask yourself this...

if marriage is really the issue here, Are you willing to stay with her, knowing that she may NEVER wanna take the next step?

if the answer is no... move on bro.

if it's yes, tell her that.

blanka4paper SG

SOLUTIONS.
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I THINK you are at the age of 32 years old, in terms of time, i think you have invested enough in her. Sometimes when you treat someone too well, they may NOT learn to appreciate you. Trust me. Maybe its time to seek another one, a replacement, you will feel much better and soon, you will be able to forget her. Trust me. There will be a time, when this another her replaces her. Maybe when she realise that shes losing you, she will then rein in. ANd come for you. that occurs 50% of the time. If she doesnt, I think Its time to get go.

kiss_my (_i_) SG

frm the day my ex broke with me, i spent much more time here in AA..
everyday, there's at least 1 thread abt r/s.. mostly is a never happy ending..
and i assume, and agree to some1, tht girls very hard to fathom..

yes u can say i think like this becoz of my ex broke with me..

and my feeling just exactly like how u feel now.. so sad, indeep inpain, and cant get her out frm mind... but time really can heal everything...

my ex broke with me just 3 weeks ago..

now i dont miss her like how i miss her last time, but i do still care and love her.. but i choose to not contacting her anymore..

last night, i just happen to saw her with her bf when i stepping out frm the lift, and she hide besie her bf dont even dare to look at me...

but wat can i do? still have to move on...

let me tell u,

no matter how many reply how we suggest, u will still inpain, the more u reply, post here will make u more sad.. but always remember, speak it out rather thn keep in ur heart.. Wink

take care..

AndrewPKYap SG

One thing I have learnt is that you do not try to change others. You adapt to them.

If you cannot adapt, then you avoid where possible (another way to adapt) and if not possible to avoid, you switch off.

You situation is simple enough...

She does not love you enough to marry you.

She asks you to "look for greener pastures"

Just do it then, look for greener pastures. Cope with the feelings as beat as you can.

ordinaryguy32 SG

oakley1976,

Maybe this will help you to understand her psyche..

If you put yourself in her shoes...

She has had 2 failed relationships in the past, and perhaps she has lost faith in love itself... she likes you enough to be a close boyfriend.. but somehow she has fear and doubt in the future... that's why she doesn't look forward to the marriage (want to be married)...

but loving you, she doesn't want to make 2 people's lives miserable as a result of her decision, hence she asked you to find a better girl...

my suggestion to you is:

give her a little more time...
don't ask for explanations anymore
just enjoy being together
maybe the spontaneity and passion is lacking in your relationship...
you need effort to bring it back...

take one step back, and tat means a genuine one step back..

don't be too goal-oriented in the relationship...

good luck, pal..

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