[quote]Originally posted by GoodBook:
[b]
hey joanne, i apologise if asking this question is too
direct:
the last 4 yrs was smooth sailing with no quarrels. however, u
pointed out several flaws of your bf. (indecisive, laid back etc)
why haven't these issues lead to a quarrel during the last 4 yrs?
[color=red]we don't quarrel, we talk
things out. i did highlight to him that he shd change, and he did..
eg. cos my education level is higher, (though i swear i dun mind
abit abt it) he went on to do part time degree studies. but as i
mentioned, he was too laid bk. in the end he failed like more den
half and wasted over 20K of $ in the studies.. and i know, he can
do it if he wants to, just that he doesnt want to study n only wait
till the last min. i did my part, i always remind him to study, and
whatever i know, i'll coach him. but it's his character u see, n
there's limited thigns i can do. [/color]
have u been keeping everything bottled up for the last 4 yrs? if so
then i think you are partly at fault! or did these issues surface
only after 6 yrs? if so then i think you are also at fault too for
not putting in effort to understand the kind of person your bf is
sooner! [color=olive]yes, i totally
agree that i am at fault. i have not blamed but blame myself for
this failed r/s. i bottled up, because apparently although we
talked almost daily, but we dont usually share our innermost thots.
he don't share with me his thoughts, and i always haf to guess!
only after our breakup, then i realised that we have communication
breakdown over all the years, just that we realised it far too
late! can u imagine, 6 yrs together and we have never discussed abt
our future properly? he don't take such initiative, though i know
he might have plans.. he just dont share wif me. and even if i
raise the topic, he doesnt say much..[/color]
maybe u should have ended it sooner rather than let it drag 6 yrs?
if i were your bf i'll be very sad that i wasted 6 years. i would
wonder why my gf did not seriously bring out all these issues and
allow me at least stop putting in so much time, effort and money on
a futile venture. [color=blue]yup, i
should have ended it earlier.. my realisation that i feel like
breaking off and break free only come around the 5th yr. i felt v
terrible, bt to me, he's really a v nice and sweet bf. i did try to
rekindle the r/s by suggesting gg on holidays, spending lotsa time
together.. trust me, i did what i can. but i did somethign v wrong.
i hide my thoughts from him, becos i am afraid tt if i let him know
that i no longer feel the same as before for him, he might get
terribly upset and hurt our r/s (if we still decide to be
together). i was focusing on the wrong pt. i was trying to prevent
him from being hurt by me, so i hide from me that i no longer have
feelings for him.. i hide from him that i wish to break free.. but
i was really feeling terrible at that time. guilty, guilty and
guilty. it is after the whole r/s, reflecting bk, i know what i've
done wrong and know that i WILL NEVER make the same mistake to my
current r/s. [/color]
