how can i support my gf as her exams draw near

k2406 SG

My gf is currently preparing for a major exam which will start in around 4-5 weeks. It will end in around 7 weeks...

Her school is one of the top schools in SG and as such, her teachers are pushing her (and her sch mates) very very hard. When I hear her school revision lessons schedule and the amount of homework she has to do, I'm really afraid that she will burn out.

I've suggested occasionally that she takes it easy sometimes so as not to burn out, cos sometimes she gets really really tired and even falls sick...most likely is due to schoolwork. The amount she has to do each day is not humanly possible to finish...

The school is also purposely VERY strict with marking so she keeps getting discouraged. I've been telling her occasionally that she's not stupid and that she's smart.

But sometimes I feel it'll be very 'naggy' for me to keep reminding her to relax, don't study until too late at night etc. it might even irritate her...

What else can I do, as a bf, to support her through this tough period?

I'm considering suggesting that we should meet up less often or for shorter periods or stop meeting up totally until her exams are over. It's a very painful prospect, but I know she's very 'gan cheong' about her exams...btw usually we only meet once a week on saturdays...

I feel very helpless...can't do anything while she's feeling all the stress and swamped in mountains of notes to study and assignments to complete...

Darkness_hacker99 SG

Either the answer is correct or wrong. There should be a clear cut answer, unless it's language papers.

It's not about strict or not strict, it's whether how you perceive it.

striderz_o405 SG

hmm sounds like A levels to me

anyway just dont disturb her. maybe send her good luck wishes or something and unless she wants to meet up with you, try not to bother her too much.

and tell her that you gonna meet her less until after her exams, and also that you will still care for her.

these are just some suggestions for your reference

i know that it's hard for most students to maintain their relationship and broke up eventually during this period of time because they feel the stress in both school work and also keeping their relationship healthy.

so just don't give up! give her your moral support and i think that's good enough for now Wink

k2406 SG

Okay...maybe the questions that are set in the papers are tougher than the national exam standard. It's a common practice in many schools...even mid-range ones. Much less the elite schools.

The point is, she gets quite demoralised whenever she fails internal exams. I'm a year older so I've been through the same exams, and I always tell her that it's standard procedure for schools to give students crap grades in internal exams so they get 'scared' and mug hard for the real thing...

k2406 SG

Yup it's A Levels. I took it last year, but I don't remember being as stressed out as she is...her school is crazy...

As for moral support, will repeatedly saying stuff like 'don't mug too late, take care of yourself', 'remember to get enough sleep', and reminding her that she's not stupid etc. actually be moral support or will it become irritating to her?

Yeah it's going to be tough these few weeks...furthermore I'm in NS now.

yuko-ogura SG

whip up something for her to eat.
bring to her house.

striderz_o405 SG

hmm maybe thats alright if she doesnt mind and hopefully she understands you and your concern for her and perhaps thats all.

a level's gonna be tough due to the new syllabus change for this year's cohort. and no one knows what's going to come out with the new addition of stuff. perhaps that's why she's kinda stressed partly too. schools are also kinda "kan chiong" because they are also unable to predict what may come out, so they just want to stress them and push them far enough for better results.

well, maybe for most schools. only my school isnt doing anything much.

caleb_chiang SG

stop bugging her during this period then. Wink

k2406 SG

Yeah I was kan cheong and nervous during my time too. But my gf is sometimes so scared that she's even saying that she'll FAIL the As...as in get S, U and F type of grades. I know she's smart...and she's so hardworking...breaks my heart to see her so worried.

off-topic: well bro, as someone who's been there done that, i'd seriously prefer if the school kept post prelim lessons to a minimum. just go through the papers and any other REALLY impt things. it's much better doing your own studying. going to school constantly means sacrificing sleep and not having time to do 'self-revision' which makes you feel like you haven't studied anything.

k2406 SG

I'm already trying not to sms her that much when it's trivial stuff like talking nonsense or updating each other on what we're doing...

can't bring myself to stop all contact. just want to know how i can support her better... Confused

striderz_o405 SG

tell her to relax

naturally she will reap whatever she sow.

her case aint as bad as mine for sure. though i am motivated to improve by hundreds of percent from my prelims. i guessed she had stressed herself too much in preparation for prelims and thats why she's so stressed that she's breaking down. just tell her to do her best and that should be okay.

(i doubt you would want to try this with her: going to arcade/LAN shop just before A level exam date just to chill and calm down. even though it has been proven for some peeps that they have scored straight As this way, i doubt you will want to risk too.)

eagle SG

easy la

Go to library/Macs/Cafe Galiee
You read book, she study
You read magazine, she study

Mealtime, you buy first, she continue study
Then eat
Then you clear for her the table, she continue study

k2406 SG

good idea if she wants to go out studying...thanks. Smile

eagle SG

I always do that last time

Just that my gf still didn't manage to score Sad

Can go her house or she come your house study also
Then you can do your own things, while making sure she's comfortable studying. Can bring in drinks, tibits (make her fat Twisted Evil ), etc
Not limited by outside factors liao

k2406 SG

hmm each other's houses nt a good idea la.

anyway i think if go library etc. to study might get distracted...much less at home. haha.

CannyOng SG

Just give her a hug and say nothing.... Wink

yiha093 SG

juz pei her lo
teach her if anything
Mr. Green

jojobeach SG

Instead of second guessing what she needs.

Why don't you just ask her, if there is anything you can do for her during this time ?

Perhaps all she needs is your moral support. Knowing that you are behind her in everything she do.

I remember sending my bf on errant runs. Like get me stationary items, or get me lunch while I mug at the library, return/retrieve books, take my dog for a walk.

Those little things saves me time and allow me to concentrate my studies.
Also, he gains much "sweetness" credits just by doing all these little stuff for me when he can.

Most important, stop nagging at her.
When you keep telling her to relax and rest more, you are indirectly adding more pressure to her.
Let her decide her own pace. Don't keep telling her what to do.

Ask !

Pion SG

Dump her or do not see her for the time being.
One girl I know who was really focused on her studying told her bf not to disturb her or see her until her exams was over.

de_middle SG

support, just know when there's a need for that support.....nothing special to take note actually Neutral