Originally posted by jojobeach:
Kennyrogers,
She is feeling insecure because you are moving forward with your
life, while she is stagnant with hers.
Perhaps she is also worried that you may forsake her, or seek
higher pastures once you have attained a higher education and may
want someone of the same status as you.
This would likely be her inferior complex talking.
My suggestion is this, validate her feelings.
Tell her, you want to make sure you can complete this master course
main reason is to want to better provide for your future wife and
family.
Since you will be taking her to be your wife after your master
course.
Why not do it now ?
Propose to her, but tell her, that you need all the support you can
get from her now.
Ask her if she is willing to go through this difficult time
together and promise you will take good care of her later.
Get yourself engaged or ROM, this will form the basis of an
insurance for her so that she won't feel left in the lurch.
After all, in 3 years time, she will hit the big 30s, it is
understandable that she gets antsy about having to wait so long
without any concrete assurance from you. Remember, woman has a
shelf life, past the 30s and she would fear being left on the
shelf.
Once she is part of your family, she will feel [b]obliged
to provide full support to her husband.
Women are insecure creatures during times of change. That is why we
seek stable environments. You can provide her something, offer
it.
[/b]
I somehow agree with what you said. But there is a nagging doubt
that somehow she will stray like she did before in all her previous
RSes.
Stray as in, that at times when she finds the current RS boring,
she has went out and looked for flings and even two-timed her
previous male-partners.
Although we have been together for such a period, there were
moments previously where i accidentally chanced upon
'evidences'.
In one instance, when she was at the bathroom, her phone recieved a
message. As we were out to meet a couple of mutual friends that
day, I thought it was from them hence clicked open to view this
message..
Little did i expect to see a message from her ex-bf that he
desperately wants to meet her and he also misses
her.
This alarmed me. "Also" ?. hence i went to check her sent message
inbox and found a few incriminating evidence...
That she also missed him but wont want to get back with him for the
hurt he has caused him. That although she misses him alot, she is
afraid that she wouldnt want to let him(the ex) go.
This set a few alarm bells ringing in my head, especially with a
girl whom have had a list of previous unfaithful acts on her
part.
Once she was done, i casually and randomly asked if her ex was
still in contact with her. taking note to make it seem like a
random remark. without batting an eye-lid, "No, we havent been in
contact for ages."
This sparked off an arguement that blew off into mega proportions a
while back. Her friends sided with her and claimed that i did the
bigger wrong. While my friends assured me that she was in the
bigger wrong. But i wasnt interested in who was wrong. I was
interested in "Why" she did this to me?
that issue somehow died down into a peaceful silence and along the
way we got back together again....
along the 2 years, there were a few instances that i caught her
lying to me... even though classified as a "white lie" by her, i
didnt feel that way.
For instance, when i expressed my displeasure of her going to a
wedding dinner of a mutual friend between her ex-ex-bf (her
ex-ex-bf was somesort like a family friend and that she wasnt ready
to let him fade off into her past,instead making due care to keep
in contact somehow) and her alone, she assured me that she wont be
going because she agrees that since he is not her bf, why doesnt he
ask another friend along.
BUT. a friend of mine caught them at the wedding. Together, sitting
beside each other and taking intimate photos such as "her leaning
on his shoulder" , "him holding her at the waist". I proceeded to
disagree with my friend claiming they saw wrongly, BUT, a mms
proved everything wrong.
how can i grow to trust her when in the beginning she has already
broken my trust many times?
Can i trust that she will want to stick with me through thick or
thin?
Can i trust her from what she has already done, and what she has
mentioned to me about in her history of RSes?
Can i simply Trust her?
