Hi,
I believe I'm in a similar situation to you. I'm 25, guy and am
sort of dating a girl 5 yrs my junior. I'm only 1.7, she's 1.78.
1.7m for a guy's height in Singapore is pretty average, just that
she's much taller than usual.
I understand your situation because these are sentiments echoed by
my girl also. Though she's taller than me, I realise she has very
good internal 'software' (aka character) which I'm attracted to,
plus we can click very well, that's what made me want to pursue
her. Her looks are acceptable to me but most importantly is she has
a very good character which is rare in most girls i've dated.
Physical constraints
Our height difference cannot be helped much, save for she wearing
flats most of time to minimize difference but I will not restrict
what she wears as I'm a very confident guy and know me giving her
the 'security' feeling is a package of physical, emotional n
mental. in fact, when she wears flats, she's only a forehead taller
than me. So since i'm down on the physical side abit, i've to make
up for emotional n mental. Fortunately for me, I'm of the muscular
kind, with broad shoulders so it lessens the physical
constraints.
I understand that women need to date a taller guy to feel more
secure. It's perfectly normal, girls like to feel that they are
protected by their guy. But like i said, the security factor is
actually a package of emotional, mental n physical. Actually once
we sit down, we are the same, she just has very nice long legs
. When she raised her concerns to me, she told me she
likes me n knows we'll have a great time together, but the height
thing is something very difficult which she has tried in the past
by dating shorter guys but has failed. I just have to be
understanding and tell her that the height thing is something she
has to learn to accept and maybe even appreciate for its
quirkiness.
I think your problem is similar to my girl on the physical
constraints. But like what i told her, she has to learn to accept
it and maybe even appreciate. You have to do the same also if you
think this guy is worth it.
the Friends to soulmates factor
I think this problem is actually the worse problem for you.
Basically you 2 have been friends for too long already. The friends
bond has been forged for too strong already. It's very difficult to
break it and try to form something else. Have you heard of the
ladder theory? Go find out about it. Respect it. Statistically it
fails for most couples who think they can beat the statistical odds
against them. I have exp in this area which has tell me that frens
shd alwaz stay as frens n gfs as gfs. If it doesn't happen then, it
wun happen now. So dun spoil the friendship coz the awkwardness
will kill most friendships eventually.
When i met this girl, I knew i would like her and want to know her
more than just frens. So it was easier on her also so she could
start seeing me as potential 'bf-material'. The frens trap is very
real and most guys think of being the nice friend first n delay
being the 'bf-material'. I think this is your problem more. Your
feelings towards him are more of gratitude and buddiness that he
has been there for you. I have female buddiness which i'll be there
to support them and even literally lend a shoulder for them to cry
on when they are down, but we are clear that it's nvr anything
more. Of coz when emotions are high and mixed like when u were sad
coz of a previous r/s failure, u could possibly mistake this guy's
feelings for something more.
For my case, I believe she might be considering giving us a try but
i'm patient and expect nothing but hope for everything.
all the best to yours.
