Hear my troubles (NOT asking how to woo some girl)

k2406 SG

here's the situation:

my gf's taking her a levels this year. i'm stuck in NS till 2009.

her parents very likely want her to go overseas for her uni education.

for her, she doesn't mind going overseas (or staying in sg) but her real interest lies in a 'not-so-prestigious' course (local) which her parents would almost surely not approve of. Hence she's more or less given up on pursuing that course.

For me, of course I'd wish that she stays in Singapore and I feel she should make up her own mind with regards to her tertiary education (after all it will affect the rest of her life) but I don't feel that it's right for me to try influence her to defy her parents.

I feel quite troubled by this now even though there's still about a year from now before she goes for her tertiary education. It's not a good feeling knowing that there's a fair chance that my gf will be leaving for long term in a year's time...

Thoughts, anyone?

vice_edge SG

another relationship undergoin test of time Rolling Eyes

k2406 SG

I think if she really goes overseas for uni we might break up. It's not like just going for one semester...it'll be 3 or 4 years. Some more I'll still be in NS till feb 2009... Sad

angel7030 SG

Ya ya, we heard you. So, we never thought about it, just hear only.

k2406 SG

okay. thanks too.

BrUtUs SG

u should encourage her to persue her interest... but wat course she wan take? studywat course end of the day still her decision not her parents...

Darkness_hacker99 SG

Ask her to study what she likes. Wink

popikachu SG

If you really love her, knows what she really wants... A good talk may let you have the answer what her wants...

I think studying a subject which a person have no interest in will not really go far. Might as well study a subject that person really like and excel in it.

Talking is not influence or defying... It a solution to problems... If you really want to talk with her parents about this, make sure you don't offence them.

Nikar2 SG

if she go overseas, then when you ORD in 2009, you’ll see an ang-moh baby.

agnelli SG

if she does go overseas to further her education, then it will be quite hard to maintain your r’ship. U can only see her at most a few times a year and thats provided she comes back during her holidays, if not gg.

Xephone_xenon SG

If you want to be the chi qing type.
Go through NS and when she go overseas to studies you wait lor.
Then mayb when she come back then happy reunion lor.
But its hard for far distance relationships to maintain, so be warned.

If you want to be practical.
Dump her, forget about her.
Go NS, come out, find new one.

jojobeach SG

You should let your gf decide what she wants to do.
She is not one without her own brain.

Don't get involve for your own selfish reason.

I have seen many relationship survive long distance relationship with couples separated by overseas studies.
In fact, the parents becomes very supportive of the relationship, because they see how supportive the gf/bf who stayed back are of their own child's future.

If you advise her against her parent's wishes, their parents will go against this relationship. It will be just as hard to maintain the relationship as she would have left for overseas.

I suggest you give her your support in whatever she has to do. Do not let her feel that you are a burden.

jojobeach SG

deleted: double post

ispyyy SG

lol... y r u worrying now ???
Wait till yr gf's A level results r out then say lor...

Even if it is the worst case where she has to study oversea, it doesnt really matter... u can treat tat as a test for yr relationship... Anyway, technology is good nowadays mah... can msn, video conferencing thru internet... blah blah... Not like last time, people survive this type of relationship thru letters... ><

Problems are meant to be solved but not meant to be feared....

allentyb SG

i will probably get ready to find another girlfriend, if i am you, and still stay in touch with her,

de_middle SG

let her decide, u on the other hand be prepared for any outcome if she decides to go overseas.

for me, i'll most probably not give up but not hope too much too....perhaps may even be forgotten in due time.

besides, fresh out from army.....shld be working & playing real hard Very Happy

parn SG

I thought you don't wish to influence her decision to leave sg for her tertiary education?

Anyway, I think it's alright for her to go and pursue a tertiary education and meet up with more guys overseas...including getting her head turned and heart fluttered with guys overseas. -> Why not take this as a trial in your relationship instead?

Afterall, nothing is constant and even if you eventually manage to change her mind to study in sg, it doesn't means she won't leave you for another guy.

Nobody controls anybody, so ultimately if she decides to leave you in the future, it is always her own choice of decision. Nothing to do with third-party other than making her feel correct and easier to break off her current relationship.

mancha SG

Let things roll out as they happen.
You do your NS as best as you can.
She, let her decide what she really wants to study or do.
Both of you maintain contact, as best as you both can.
That will be the test for both of you.

Your fear is that you would lose your gf.
Unfortunately, that fear is real.
You just have bear it, and hope for the best.
Hope your relationship survive the test of time.
Just do your best for yourself at all times.
And also wish the best for your gf.

Do not manipulate peoples' lives for selfish purposes.
Especially when you both are still young.

de_middle SG

excellent piece of advice Very Happy

angel7030 SG

But the problem is he cannot tarhan liao.