Entering the Kingdom of God and staying there is no easy task.
Like the rest before me have said, Christian life isn't a bed of
roses. Don't believe those ridiculous advertisements you she
everytime about Christians being "forever happy" and "care-free".
We're humans as well. I had depression twice in my 17 years of
life. I thought that God and Jesus had abandoned me as well. But
then I realized it was me who had abandoned them. I'm still
recovering from those utterly miserable days.
I then became very angry that I felt that my christian friends were
just using me, Once I stopped believing, Everything wasn't as bad
as before because I told myself it was time for a
change.
Using you? How? We can't help if you don't provide
details.
Either I wait for it to happen or I take it into my own hands and
change everything, I thought I did well in changing. But I
eventually grew disgusted with myself and the things I'm doing. I
felt even more alone.
I have people telling me that "XXX, You can come to me and talk to
me when you need help"
You're growing away from the people you know, and that's not a
helpful sign.
But when I really need someone to talk to, I can't see them as
someone I can trust and talk to. I even resort to changing the
story alittle just to mislead them then off the issue off my
mind.
But its really no use, My life i think is crashing down and I
really don't know what to do. Now, I put on a strong front and try
to cover my weaknesses but in fact, I know I don't have the guts to
do it. I ever really had the thoughts to stab someone but I
chickened out.
Was this character trait of being generally mistrustful
something you had before you became like this? A really concerned
person would not fall for the bait you put to lure them away from
your problem. He/she will just keeping pressing, and you have to
play your part too. Stop pushing people who are really concerned
away.
I don't wanna talk to any counsellors because they cannot be
trusted, I am afraid they will put me in some mental house or
report me to the police. I keep telling myself one day I will make
them pay. I dream about becoming rich then destroying their lives
like they have to my life.
I sometimes I think of what I am living for, There is nothing I am
anticipating to happen either that or I feel there is no need to
suffer for that cause. I think of suicide.
General misconception about counsellors; not everyone's out to
get you. Only the very, very serious cases are ever reported to the
IMH, and that's only after long consideration and discussion. You
show slightly misanthropic tendencies here. Try seeing the good in
people, and then maybe you can find the good in yourself.
I don't really like my class as well, I prefer the other class as
they welcome me more and I think I fit in better. It really sucks,
And I don't know if there is any chance of me changing class at
all. I really don't feel like going to school tomorrow but I have a
project to rush but I really need the time alone.
If you judge yourself before others, then others will see that
it's fine to judge you. So, break the bloody cycle. Take some time
to prepare for it, then do it. It's not so hard.
I hate myself.
"Hate" is a very strong word.
If there is a chance, I really wanna live my next life as someone
with everything made for him or someone who doesn't know anyone at
all so that I don't have to face any mockery at all.
Here, you're just being lazy. What's the point of living if
there's no struggle?
I know running away isn't the solution but I think its either that
or dying.
No chance of coming back after death; you realize that, don't
you? I'm not saying this as a Christian, but think again. If you're
so unafraid of death, what do you have to be afraid of in this
world?
You can choose to believe in God, or you can choose to reject Him.
Religion is choice. Christ gave the people who wanted to crucify
Him that choice. Why should He show any difference to you, who have
no great animosity towards Him?
Take your time to recover.
