involve with someone

last SG · 2007-07-22T18:17:53+00:00

hmmmm.... As how are the nationality are formed so are the different groups there are today, the lesbians, the gays , the butches, the swingers, the chiongst...

Vel Vel SG

Even as an outsider, i am more concerned about how his gf would have felt if she ever knows about this.

it would be a blow after blow to know her own bf not only betrayed her, but also felt agonised over his fling's carefree attitude.

i feel sad thinking about this.. he really let her down.

ordinaryguy32 SG

It is common to see things from the perspective of one's own life experiences, and some people will think that's objective.

From most girls' (and some guys) point of view, maybe they will identify more with the hurt TS' gf is bound to go through than the emotional turmoil TS is having.

The mood of all other relationship-related threads in this forum is always the same. Sometimes it's some guy blasting the female TS, and sometimes it's the other way around...

We should try to give help objectively, without judgement, although that sometimes seem impossible.

ispyyy SG

There is nothing wrong with the above statement... It happens regardless before or after marriage, regardless of male or female. In fact, I consider it a good statement in beneficial to TS. At least, it enlighten TS... Rather than, narrowing his options thru social pressure or so called "moral values"

Once again, we do not know how much TS love his gf. We do not know how much TS like AA... We do not really know what he wants... We do not know lots of information because TS is confused... But we do know tat he is in guilt... we do know tat he process feelings for AA... We do know that he is confused... We can make assumptions to help him... We can point out many routes for him to choose... tat is what we can do...

soul_rage SG

I agree with jojo

Be a responsible person.

Having a gf and cheat on her... and you still want to have the best of both worlds...

All your postings smirk of selfishness. Its all about "I feel guilty", "I feel bad", obviously the world revolves ard you. You care about your own image and your own morals, but not about your Gf's feelings. It's all about YOU, you don't give a da-mn to your Gf's feelings.

Obviously, if this society allows you to two-time morally, but your Gf won't like it and will be hurt by it, you would do it without any guilt. If this society allows you to marry 2 wives, you would do it without any guilt even though your GF may hate it.

Your gf deserves someone MUCH better. In fact, I think there are many forumers here that are single, and would care for your gf better.

Be a man, let her go, and you should suffer for your sins

soul_rage SG

The statement is ok, IF AND ONLY IF, you are also agreeable to your Girlfriend having multiple boyfriends.

If you say that your galfren cannot have multiple boyfrens, but you can have multiple galfrens, then you are a disgrace to the male population

t_a_s SG

may I know have u sex your gf ? If yes then no good to find AA

ordinaryguy32 SG

Originally posted by soul_rage:

I agree with jojo

Be a responsible person.

Having a gf and cheat on her... and you still want to have the best of both worlds...

All your postings smirk of selfishness. Its all about "I feel guilty", "I feel bad", obviously the world revolves ard you. You care about your own image and your own morals, but not about your Gf's feelings. It's all about YOU, you don't give a da-mn to your Gf's feelings.

Obviously, if this society allows you to two-time morally, but your Gf won't like it and will be hurt by it, you would do it without any guilt. If this society allows you to marry 2 wives, you would do it without any guilt even though your GF may hate it.

Your gf deserves someone MUCH better. In fact, I think there are many forumers here that are single, and would care for your gf better.

Be a man, let her go, and you should suffer for your sins

If one does wrong, is it selfish to feel guilty and remorse?
Does feeling remorseful mean that one is selfish?

I think he cares abt his gf's feelings, that's why he's feeling guilty.
Well, of course, one can argue that if he really cares about his gf, he wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. But what's done is done. Maybe he still cares about his gf, although he says nothing about it.

soul_rage SG

Originally posted by ordinaryguy32:

[b]If one does wrong, is it selfish to feel guilty and remorse?
Does feeling remorseful mean that one is selfish?

I think he cares abt his gf's feelings, that's why he's feeling guilty.
Well, of course, one can argue that if he really cares about his gf, he wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. But what's done is done. Maybe he still cares about his gf, although he says nothing about it. [/b]

is it?

You have to differentiate between true remorse, and hypocritical behavior

Let me refer you to his previous postings

"I put both hands up and agree it is morally incorrect of me, to get involve with AA.. It hurts my conscious and it goes against my own standing on how a person should behave morally.. I am going haywire myself.. I hate the fact that I handled it so badly, compared to AA.. I got attach emotionally and she does not.. AA is handling our "relationship"; much better than me.."

I note all the "I"s. Not once was his gf's feelings referred to. Its all about himself not behaving morally, etc.

"I love my gf and I treat her the best that I can.. I know if I end it with my gf over her, I will nv be the same.. I will be forever guilty, like Judas.. Nevertheless, I admit I am a Basta## to get involve with AA.. The lust makes me sin.."

Note that "I"s again. Its about himself feeling guilty,not once did he mention how his gf would be devastated from his betrayal

"hi 798, we were nv serious in this relationship.. AA is handling so much better than me.. Ours was a lust and companionship relationship.. Its just me, being emotionally weak.. I hate it over her relationship with her guy frds.. I get jealous and I do wish she gets attach to me emotionally.. guess its ego being at work too.. Sad"

Note no references to his gf again. Its all about him and his ego

"As much as I hate to reveal this, girls also keep a lookout for better guys even when they are happily attached. Cos nobody can be 100% sure that the guy that you're with at the moment is "The One" for you."

Now he is beginning to go into self-denial. After betraying his gf, he is now trying to justify his actions by saying that his Gf may also be keeping a lookout for better guys

"Yes, AA may not accept me to be her bf.. In fact, she has someone in mind.. Her perspective of our relationship, is what you had mentioned.. The prob lies with me that gradually, I find myself being emotionally attached to her.. Sucks.. I will not break off with my gf for her.. I cant handle it and I will never be the same me, if I do it.. The "judas act" will haunt me for life.. Morally, I will not bear to too.. I guess I have lose in the game.. Sometimes, I admire her for handling it so much better than me.. I am suppose to be the guy, to be the one to "do it and get over with".. I may be a big-time basta## in some of yours' eyes.. And I apologise for it.. I am sorry..."

This is the ONE BIG nail on the head. The fact is, I can summarize his attitude as follows:
- He hesitates to break from his gf coz AA may not accept him as her bf
- Then he talks about feeling guilty, and not once about his gf's feelings
- Its all about his image. He does not want to look like a basta## in this society.

Basically, remorseful??? I seriously doubt so, given the self-centred postings made.

One big a**hole? Yes definitely.

soul_rage SG

I have a colleague that was two-timed by a guy.
He kept his other relationship in the dark from her for many years
She only found out about his other relationship the day he was going to get married to the other gal.

He still had the cheek to tell her that he is basically still a nice guy, coz he let her know before he was getting married.

Ya, I suppose she should feel grateful that he let her know and not continue to two-time her after his marriage?

Crap.

ordinaryguy32 SG

TS, somehow it sounds like you're feeling like a sore loser for "hating the fact that AA is handling better than you".

It may sound like you don't want to end this relationship with AA on a losing note. Or rather, you may wish that she would be at least as tearful as you if you end this relationship.

Your ego is sorely hurt that AA doesn't need you as much as your gf does, or she can discard you like a piece of junk.

I think the first step to redemption is that you need to start from basics, e.g. build your ego up all over again with a different foundation (on true love perhaps, but not on the fact that you can play with girls better than they can with you), while perhaps accepting that you are not as cool a guy as you might think you are.

I hope that isn't too harsh for you to read.

ordinaryguy32 SG

Thanks, I see and accept your point.

ordinaryguy32 SG

That's truly awful...

soul_rage SG

Thanks, true remorse, there is still redemption. Face the music, accept the punishment, and learn from it.

hypocritical behavior? If his gf is my sister, I would personally beat him up.

"If you can't control your urges, then you aren't a human being, becoz that's what differentiates us from animals, ie self-control"

nutpinko SG

the whole entire thread evolves around AA and not ur gf.
u are sooo sick u know?
i seriously hope that your gf is reading this.

*note: what comes around, goes around. Very Happy

nutpinko SG

RonDaGuy SG

TS, your girlfriend had just read this topic.
Good luck. Smile

haywir SG

Dear forumers.. I have spend very good time reading all your comments.. All your advices, comments, I really appreciate it and read it through not once but countless.. I admit I am a basta### and i apologise if my situation leaves a bad taste on any of you.. One day, heaven will give me the sentence I deserve, no doubt.. I will accept it because I deserve it.. Nevertheless, I really thanks everyone of you from the bottom of my heart.. It is good to hear all your comments.. I appreciate your time to share your views..

love kitty SG

so getting involve with another gal is giving ur best to ur gf? ur gf is so ka lian pls break up with her u don deserve her pls don hurt her like tt. JERK!

crazy monkey SG

hope you get dump by AA and your gf.

soul_rage SG

don't need to thank anyone here. I most certainly wouldn't want to be associated with you, a shame for the male population.

you better self-reflect on yourself.

if you insist on coming here and pretending that you are feeling bad, but then still continue going down the road of deceiving ur gf and continuing to go out with AA, I hope you get your just retribution.

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