falling in love with someone i shouldn;t have

last SG · 2007-07-15T19:33:46+00:00

hey peeps. thanks a lot for giving me all these advices.. i am feeling much better now..after tiking bout it, i feel that it best that we both stick as fres....

huy SG

it been a long time since i fall in love with someone.. ever since my past relationshiip which ended 2 years ago and it takes me quite a while to overcome it, i tell myself nv nv to fall in love with someone again... until when i met him...

he is a colleage in my company.. i jus join this company a few months back.. initially when i first knew him, i don really have that kind of feelings towards him.. to me, he is jus an average looking man and defintely not the type that i was looking for.. but as the days goes by, i realised that he is really diff from other guys. though he isn;t gd looking, but he carry himself well. he is very confident and he is intelligent, mature... not only that, whenever anyone encounter any problems at work, he is all there to help the person..

recently, i hang around with him a lot during office hours.. we can spend hours chatting, giggling.. it really enjoyable toking with him and thru all this chatting, i learn a lot from him also.. slowly, i began to realised that i kind of fall in love with him.. i don noe when it started but it seems that i have been tiking bout him everyday.. my heart jus beat very fast whenever i am with him.. initially i tok that was jus an infauation and i even slapped myself hard forcing myself not to like him but it not going to help.. my feelings towards him jus go deeper and deeper..

he is someone that i shouldn;t have fall in love with... regardless of background, qualifications, lifestyle, he is far way better than me. i am jus a nobody seriously.. he don have a gf now and he don noe that i like him also.. i jus kip all my feelings inside and pretend nothing happen. cos i knew that our friendship will defintely break if i confess to him..

seriously i felt so ashamed and guilty that i actually like him.. how can i fal in love with someone that i shouldn;t have... i felt like i am a toad falling in love with a swan.. i felt so cheapo of myself.. i tried to avoid him but then it hard.. cos i don wan to lose him as a fre also..

i really donnoe what to do.. now my whole mind is with him now.. i felt really tired.. it really terrible to kip my feelings inside..

CannyOng SG

I think yr title is not very approriate. Why can't u fall in love with him sInce he is available and u are single too. Unless u are a he....

Don't look so little of yrself. A person with substance is not judge by his look,education and wealth lvl..... Wink

ahkico SG

If both parties are single and available, why not? Very Happy IT's not as though he's a married man & u're afraid of being a third party..

It isn easy after a relationship to let go, and start all over again.. I was with my ex for 4 years.. & i took 2 whole years to let go & start all over again!

A relationship is solely on both individuals.. What qualities u see in each other, & not a comparison..

Each and everyone of us has our own strong and weak points.. Do not betitle urself! Think of ur gd points.. And wAt makes u look attractive..

Feelings R usually mutal.. It takes 2 hands to clap.. He gonna have some feelins for u.. TAt's why he too smiles happily when he's with u.. I'm not gd with phrasing words.. So hop u get wat i say!

Most importantly.. Do not rush things.. Dun let qualifications matters rule ur heart. IT is how much u are willin to put in to let the relationship works.. Guys have weakness too! Wink

the Bear SG

uhh.. i think you need to figure out that nothing is wrong with this.. and if he is attracted to you also, what the heck is wrong with giving it a try?

SingaporeMacross SG

have confidence in yourself! you never know if something good will come out of it.

of course, you need to overcome the baggage from your last relationship first.

stellazio SG

love transcends all boundaries.

qualifications, background etc are things you should forget about.

huy SG

seriously, i really felt that i am not gd enough for him.. he came from quite a gd family background while i came from a really humble family.. maybe as u say is right, i look very little of myself.. and i am not gorgeous too.. for a ger to match him, she should have the brains, look, wealth.. some ger that could help him in future.. i am not be able to do so.. i jus felt so terrible and hate myself for liking him..

the Bear SG

hey.. don't say such things.. Smile

if he likes you, he likes you... not for your background, not for whatever it is.. it's for you Smile

huy SG

thanks alot for ur advice.. i knew he dosen like me.. jus that i am a person who is gd in chatting.. perhapes becos of this, we can get along rather well.. but i knew i m not the ger who he is looking for.. it jus the feelings getting over me.. sobz..

huy SG

i felt it a sin becos i fall in love with someone that is so much better than me.. i mean if u are a guy, what will happen if u noe that some ger who is a nobody fall in love with u? will u actually run away from it and avoid her for the rest of ur life?

stellazio SG

actually in fact, its harder for me to accept someone better then me. Laughing

huy SG

yea.. i already put down my last relationship.. it takes me like 2 yrs to overcome it.. and i really glad that i am be able to overcome it finally.. now at least i wun feel my heart ache when i tik bout my ex..

huy SG

is it? i tok guys will feel honour if some gers that are well better than him actually fall in love with him and they will actually run away, avoid when some low standard gers like him..

the Bear SG

don't say such things yah? Smile

keep telling yourself you are good enough.. heck! what does he think?

yiha093 SG

wtf... no1 is bad unless own ppl say they are... Evil or Very Mad

huy SG

thanks for all ur advice.. maybe i really have very low confidence of myself.. i guess i will jus force myself not to tik bout him, devoted all my time to my work, fres and family.. hope this will helps.. Crying or Very sad

stellazio SG

no ar, its a ego problem. Laughing

the Bear SG

hey girl...

tell you what.. be his friend.. while in the meantime, since you insist you are not 'good enough' (even when we figure you are).. improve yourself! go for courses, get some accreditation, study.. and all that...

you'll be fine..

in the meantime, be his friend...

be well yah? Very Happy

everyone is good enough for love

ShrodingersCat SG

if he likes u he likes u. if he doesn't, he doesn't.

doesn't mean that even if you are pretty and good and whatever, he will like.

though i don't think u are ready for a relationship

if you don't respect yourself for who you are, even if he likes you back, he will have a uphill task convincing and reassuring you all the time. that is very tiring. u need to get ur self esteem and confidence back.

though if you really think he is worth something, don't judge him to be someone shallow.

but again more importantly, start by thinking you are worth it.

huy SG

yea.. i not asking for much.. as long as i can be his fre, i am more than contented.. jus that i am afraid that if he noes that i like him, he will jus avoid me cos i really don wan to lose a fre like him..