I'm also a loner. Maybe because I was born an only child and do
not see the need to interact at a large scale with people. But I'm
quite wary of befriending people, especially those who only
interact with you for their own motivations and not because they
really like or want to know you as a friend. I have a small circle
of friends whom I do interact with once in a while but really,
people like me who are relatively more quiet and less talkative are
generally easily forgotten at certain moments.
I like to treat people with sincerity and in the past, I wanted to
be an ultimate and loyal friend but past experiences thought me
that very often, the loyal, steady and quiet friend is bypassed for
a more interesting fellow. When there are troubles, they would be
touched when I'm there but when the crisis is over, everything is
back to normal and i'm again overlooked.
People out there do not really understand me; they think I'm pretty
much open. It is surprising when even my closer friends do not
believe that I'm shy and reserved internally. Maybe because I would
greet people who I'm acquianted with, rather than acting that I
didn't see them when i did (which is a habit of most people these
days).
Now, I'm maybe more realistic and unless there is a real friend who
is destined to be met, I have no high hopes in the people around
me. These days, I don't want to pressure myself to create topics of
interest, just to entertain the other party; maybe, I'm too lazy
and I rather someone accept me as who I am than who I try to
pretend to be. And I'm accepting the fact that most friends come
and go, ultimately you will move on in your life.. different paths
everyone will take and eventually, you face your end
alone.
