help?

da-cheese-freakk SG

this isnt exactly an agonizing situation, so I dunno why I'm posting it here, but I figured that more "sensible" people would be willing to post replies.

the thing is, I have this cousin and she's kinda anti-social. I'm going back soon, and I'm staying at her house. any suggestions on how to be friendly and how to introduce her to more people without her getting annoyed, frustrated or scared at/of me?

Eiizumi SG

wah.. diffcult question woh. we dunno yr cousin well leh. just befriend her like an aquaintance or wat lah. slow ask her out to do things together loh.

da-cheese-freakk SG

yeah, but I have limited time ... VERY limited time..
I'm scared that by the time I get to know her (if she LETS me know her), it'll be too late already..

popikachu SG

just drag her out with her friend (if she got any and you know them) or if not your friend do something everyone will enjoy especially her.

But when going out, dun really do thing that require competition (unless she is sure win and very good in it) or if not she might get sad if she lose even if she seems happy.

i dun think she will really reject you call her out if you keep on pestering her. unless she get real angry...

Then thing are troublesome if she really dun want to go out. As you main aim is to get her more socialise, try to get her involved in something with friends...

then maybe she will feel that friend are sometimes fun and maybe what have happen may linger in her mind as an happy occasion. this might slowly lead to her being more socialise.

thing are complicated, i wouldnt know what will be best of her without knowing her... she may be a person who really like to be alone, or just scared of having friend, or dun feel that she has any friend... the last condition is the easiest to solve.

yup this is from my point of view.
^^ hope to hear good news from you.

remember to post what happen after that!

da-cheese-freakk SG

hahaha, my aunt just kinda warned me that: 1) she would probably decide not to talk to me AND 2) she's never been a very socialized person ...
I've been thinking about bringing her out with my friends, but I'm scared that a large amount of people will just intimidate her or make her feel left out, since my friends can be pretty crazy at times ...
for things that don't require competition, what do you suggest? competition kinda crosses out bowling, ice-skating, or any other sport for that matter ...

hiphop2009 SG

smile at her can liao lo. haha~

WiNtEr'SkiLL SG

you are going back to where ?

gobez14 SG

i noe i noe

use the ultimate sure kill tactic lo....

HUG HER AND SAE U LUV HER this technique hor v.effective against everibodi one they sure feel loved and will open up to u 1 Laughing

popikachu SG

good tatics come with good price...

the price you will pay is, your face... dun be shy, be brave...
but, wont her cousin feel misunderstood? lol...

popikachu SG

bowling? isnt that with scores?

a large amount won't make her feel left out if you guys keep her crazy with you. Even if she doesnt want to be crazy with you guys( as expected for a anti-social people) try to make her crazy too... but a warning, it's very very hard...

A question, you have a new group of friend and when you guys go out, everyone will "disturb you" and at least a person talk to you while you are together, will you feel left out? ( tell me if you still dun know how this question answer you question. i will explain to you. if you know that answer, and the link to your question, good Wink )

hope i've help Wink

da-cheese-freakk SG

hahahaha yeahh, thankkks =).
now I'm just kinda concerned 'cause I havent seen my friends for a year (I havent been in S'pore) and I kinda also want private time with them ... and won't she feel a bit paiseh if I'm just talking with them like usual and she doesnt get what we're talking about?
and will she feel a bit out of place if I'm teh only one talking to her? (my friends are all good friends with each other... hinthint.)

popikachu SG

the outing, you can only choose one.

either be with your friend,
or bring her along...

if you want to be with your friend for that day, dun bring her. It will only make her feel neglected.

if you want to help her, be with her all the time that day cus i think you are the closest with her that time no? she need your accompany to feel the warm friendship.

and one thing that she might reject you to go out is that she dun know any of your friend, so keep the group smaller is she don't know them.

if both of your friend are the same people, the more the merrier...

Wink

zeny SG

If you are pressed for time. Please do not try anything. Anti-social behaviour needs time and patience to handle not just rushing around and forcing a person to change.

icyboiz SG

just say are u free, lets go out for a dinner or take a walk.

den slowly interact with her