As much as you people might be thinking that the 'pen is
mightier than the sword', it's not really even close to the
story...
I do really wish to help AA all along but I have a greater wish
that the community would be able to help out each other than to
depend on a handful of characters alone... And the truth is I've
always prefer a more carefree life.. Being a Mod in AA is just like
having an extra burden (which I seriously didn't mind much at all
for the benefits that it can give) and too many restrictions... I
know that somehow I would be sort of like a 'role-model' and that
would indirectly impose many extra 'rules' on me... But I must also
admit it was quite an experience, hence I would thank Jason for
giving me that opportunity to experience it..
In fact I've already expressed my wish to leave my position before
all these happened, many times before to Jason... That's why like
I've said, to those who know... Using 'AA Mod status to my own use'
would sound more like a big joke...?
And it's also true that work is catching up with me in life..
There're other areas in my life which I should be making my
'contributions' to too... Sad to say, AA is no longer really one of
them. Though often in the past I've questioned and I've asked
sometimes... Those people who I'm helping... Are they really worth
my help...? After Bee_gal's incident, which I really didn't ask for
any kind in return (just like for the others)... But see what I'm
getting today just because of her? And she's not even stepping
forward to speak up for me (I'm not really blaming her that much as
I know she must really have her own difficulties for that to
happen)....
And 'personal attacks'.... So many personal agendas... Hatre... Set
up... Even over the most tiny of things... Selfish thoughts of
selfish people.... Really sour me. To tell you the truth, I've gone
through all these before. Just that I've thought all these while...
Hopefully that people might change for the better one day.... But
perhaps some things just cannot be changed...? Or perhaps just that
some things would take more time to change....? People who would
stay away from you when you're in trouble... Or people who just
blindly join in to accuse you for the fun of it...? Because it
doesn't hurt them to do so...? Despite I've taught time and over
again to them not to jump to conclusions based on groundless
accusations... Or just shoot and discriminate people just because
they feel like it...? Just too hard to learn and change...? Hope
they would after I've left...?
Nonetheless... There're also some VERY GOOD FRIENDS and PEOPLE
AROUND with me all these while... I think I need not repeat myself
here the things I've said in my 'thank you' thread....
Last but not least... With regards to my previous position as a Mod
in AA... I think I was doing the forumites a service... But I also
believe that people shouldn't use one who they cannot trust.... If
they cannot trust me, I think I'm most undeserved of this
position...
So I thought my decision should be a most balanced and 'satisfying'
one to almost everyone...?
Take care.
