Should I apologize?

last SG · 2007-04-04T19:40:56+00:00

getting rejected is one thing.. while affecting working r/s is another. i dont want to affect the 2nd one..

ifish SG

there's this gal which i like for quite some time. told her about it. she nvr rejected me deep deep. after telling her about my feelings, she told me that we should just remain as friends.

after that incident, we did remain as friends. we got closer to the point of us smsing everyday, giving her wake up calls, meet in the middle of sg just to go out, (i live in the west. she live in the east) talking on the phone for long hours in the wee morning, etc

all this just make me wait. waiting for her to accept me..

there's a particular bad point..

she talks alot about her ex.. everytime he talk about him, i'll just pretend to listen even though it hurts deep down inside. I tried telling to her that I dont want to hear about it. but all attempt failed.

secondly, some of her actions can be quite hurtful. 1 min u can be chatting lame stuff and the another min she can be keepin all quiet saying she dont feel like chattin. makin me guilty as if i have done smth wrong. or she can be super close with me alone but infront of friends, she would treat me like a complete stranger

for the past 1 week, i've been keeping quite. keeping my distance from her.

She did ask me wad happen. I just said that "I've got my reasons and somethings are best left unsaid."

2 days ago, i sort of send a wrong sms to her.
the next day, she msn me saying that," Think you enjoying wad u having with your friend. i shall not you disturb any further"

after probing further,

she said that since im enjoying so much time with my friends, go have fun. and ignore her all I want.

I sort of cant control anymore and say

for your own info, my friends got nth to do with me distaning away from you. Get the facts right first

and of course, she went offline and nvr talk to her ever since yesterday.

i know i was abit rough to her but i just cant control myself. I've lost my patience.

so should i apologize?

the reason i distaning away from you is because i want a time off. To clear my mind. Because of your attitude against me. not because of my friends. they're the one who kept my mind occupied.

Pitot SG

Since u fell that u lost ur patience, I think u should apologise to her.

keeping your distance from her is something good IMO. But not to the extent that u are totally avoiding her.

And from what i see, she is just using u for a shoulder to cry on.
something like a spare tyre. not worth ur time.

ifish SG

im not totally avoiding her. just giving her short reply and cuting down on talking to her

<Precious> SG

Wad's there to apologise? You two are just beginning to learn more about each other ma........ Sorry for bein your honest self? Rolling Eyes

Pitot SG

ok la, its good that u know what is happening..

remember, she rejected you.

ifish SG

for being too straight forward. for taking that tone to her.

i know she's angry

no?

ifish SG

and ya.. will still be seeing her for another 2 years.

now i donno whether our working r/s will be affected. if it is, die liao

Pitot SG

If u think you did something wrong. go ahead.

If not, forget about it.

thats what i think .

ifish SG

thats the hard part.

half of me thinks im wrong while the another thinks just im just voicing out wads happening.

hmm..

Pitot SG

get ur thought straighten out man.

but u have stated in ur original post that u think u were wrong? u yourself know better. Laughing

choco B SG

It is impossible to know for sure if your tone or hers is offensive because we are not there to hear/read it first hand.

The most fundamental problem is that you are engaging in this - "all this just make me wait. waiting for her to accept me.. "

When you are in this state of mind, everything gets muddled up, you start taking blame unnecessarily, and start double-guessing her.

Suggest you make up your mind if you want to wait or not.

One thing is for sure, both of you caused the souring of friendship, not one person alone. The girl is stringing you along and acting spoilt because you are conveniently available. And you allowed her to do so.

If you are still interested in being her reserve, then I guess you may have to swallow your pride and stand down because you want something from her.

One thing you probably don't realise, is that to win a girl's heart when she is not interested, the "wait till flower wilt" softie approach is not always effective. She may continue to take you for granted, and keep status quo. And you can't blame her if you allow her to.

If you only treat her as a friend, then you should be fair to both of you. Talk to her reasonably, expect the same from her as you would any other friend, the niceness must flow both ways. If she cannot even be a friend to you, just let her go.

blahshit SG

ai ts, what did u sms wrongly to her?

ifish SG

Pretty true.. I'll decide whether to go left or right first before deciding my next course of action

ifish SG

smth about my last game with my friend + about a gal blog..

even put up the url for my friend reference..

blahshit SG

wtf?! like the gal also angry ar? i think it's pretty obvious, if i am her, that u send the wrong msg.. cause those things in the msg has nothing to do with the gal in the first place.. did u tell her that u accidently send the wrong msg to her?

ifish SG

of course.. as soon as i realise it

she was angry not cause of the wrong msg..

she was angry cause of the tone + me avoiding her

but i believe the wrong msg trigger this to happen.. cause currently the way i treat her and the way i treat my friends are 2 world apart..

choco B SG

I know you like her and so you're trying to make her happy. But you've also got to be someone she can respect first. If you act like a wimp and everything also give in, she may just abuse that . That's not the way to win her heart. ( And if she really is using you.. what does that say about her character? )

I'm NOT suggesting you be the exact opposite and be a jerk - just that remember to save some respect for yourself, expect her to be a friend to you in the same way you are a friend to her, and she may just see you in a different way other than doormat.

blahshit SG

orh..... i understand now.. aiya.. i think u should tell her that she hurt u even more by treating u invisible in sch and then treat u as close friends when outside sch.. tell her ur reasons of avoiding her.. but u mus see the situation then tell la.. cause last time my friend go tell a gal how she make him misarable, then even worst.. the gal got real angry.. i also dunno y.. but i u r not in the wrong..

from my point of view, she misunderstood u and that's what spark the conflict..

but guys always damn poor thing.. the gal in the wrong we also have to appologise.. lol..

Eric Cartman SG

yes

eviljustice SG

she is just playing u.