I read all the posts here and I thought about it.. And I'm truly
stumped.. My first question, what exactly is the difference between
brotherly(family) love and normal bgr love? In the essence of it, I
would think that it is actually quite similar. It's just that, the
only difference I can think about is the sexual aspect of the
matter. All of us have been brought up (culture and religion) to
recognise absolute WRONG when mixing family relationships with
sexuality. Incest is absolutely forbidden and morally wrong in our
society.
Now back to the TS. There is not much difference in your "love" for
your siblings and your bf/future husband. In fact I would think
they are the same. You care for both your brother and bf. You want
them to be safe. You want them to care for you. You want them to
shower you with love. You want to be with them always and forever.
But this next question to ask yourself would bring out the
difference in the 2 "loves". With all due respect and not to
humiliate or cause any embrassment to you, but do you feel sexually
attracted to your brother? You don't have to answer. Just think
about it yourself. You seem to like his touches. There is a
difference in what you actually feel when you say you "like". If he
touches you and you feel warm and fuzzy and comfort but not the
extent of becoming sexually aroused, then I would think it is
perfectly fine. But you have to be certain that deep inside your
heart, you feel 100% sure that there is no way you want his touches
to go further than just an inncoent non-sexual sibling contact. If
there is a slightest bit of sexual attraction you felt from his
touches, then you are looking at your brother in a different angle.
You are not looking at him as a brother. You are looking at him as
a man of your own. The man you want to love and at the same time
desire to have a sexual relationship with, at which the thing that
is stopping you from pursuing that desire is the very FORBIDDEN
MENTALITY the society has embedded in all of us. I don't exactly
know how you feel. Only you yourself know. But you mentioned
something about your heart beating very fast. From my knowledge and
understanding, these are signs of danger. You are probably doing
the right thing to avoid him. It will take time for yourself to
habitualise with the fact that your brother is after all your
brother and he can go no further than that. You have to "scare" and
remind yourself everytime your mind and thoughts wander off to that
incestuous zone. Self-therapy you might call it but it might do you
all right.
Disclaimer: No intention to cause any form of embarassment or
disrespect to anyone. I'm open to views on my perception of
brotherly love and bgr love. Please enlightened me where I possibly
went wrong. Thanks!
TS: Gd luck! Be safe.
