honeymouse SG Yep, I agree with you about some parents' intention but I don't think that's the right way to bring up the kids. They end up growing up with low self-esteem. If the parents don't want to boast to others about the children, they don't have to put them down either.
Fatum SG asian parents are not very demonstrative when it comes to feelings, so a lot of things come out sounding wrong ... but in the end, they all want the best for their kids ....
walesa SG My folks never went that far - well, they never had the chance to. Before they could draw any comparisons, I was already asking them questions like "Why are there so many people richer than you?"
untitledwav SG It's not just our parents. Maybe that's what we've grown up with, and we've grown up to become what we've once hated. Just see what happens whenever someone says something provocative here.
Eternal-fire SG I grew up hearing discouraging things till now. It’s mostly from my parents, especially my mom. She keeps saying I dun look good or even normal(I can’t debate about the normal part). It kinda affects my self-confidence to be truthful. That’s why I try not to dwell too much on what they say.
Gunyandao SG kids will be emotionally hurt. if too excessive then it will be devastating. cos they will grow up having the "born loser", "born to lose" mindset. imagine hearing things like good for nothing, no hope, why you so stupid etc etc etc kids will grow up very pessimistic, low in confidence, afraid to take up challenges n unwilling to progress since even before they started doing something, everyone in the whole world knows for sure they will fail.
Slipshade SG That's Asian culture for you. The cold water and condemning words are supposedly meant to make the family look modest and humble instead of arrogant braggarts.
tek_koh SG me same same...discourage to do this to do that even now so i tend to do things on my own accord, more independent
DailyFreeGames.com SG when people say negative things at another person, it is more likely to put them down but everything lies with that person who receives those comment, for some people they allow others to put them down, for people like me, i have a strong vengence so i always strive to grow beyond that and then i will only spend/give money to those that has helped me positively, thus those who put me down will have to eat their words and not receive a single cent from me. I believe anyone can achieve anything if they have enough willpower and attitude to achieve it.
browniebaobao SG I often think negatively... or maybe should say I'm always prepared for the worse. But when I think positive, no matter what discouraging things people tell me, I will still stand firm on my decision.
Lorry` SG me. my mom. tellin her i want to do somethin eg eg, then she, always pourin cold water, compare this and that to someone older than me by, 5 years old? i mean wtf? and those that is of the same age as me. i always told her 'why must copy ple? why must compare?' it has causes some impact.. not weaker la. i dont feel lousy compare to those relatives of mine , i just dont like the things she (mom) tells me.. at times i ignored, kept quiet and told myself to do somethin well to prove her wrong, but at times we quarrel shes good in all but this is the only thing i dislike bout her.
walesa SG While I couldn't help agreeing it's an innate part of Asian culture, I do find it bemusing at times if this really serves the intended purpose of making the family look modest. Try viewing it in a context without the presence of non-family members in the picture. Afterall, is it that common for parents to even tell their children "Well done", "I love you" or "I'm proud of you"? I find this aspect sorely lacking in many Asian families and can't help being convinced the lack of such positive affirmations (such warm gestures aren't much different from an "I love you" between couples, but it seems couples have less trouble expressing their thoughts than parents) does affect the child's emotional and psychological development somewhat.
ltachi SG got plenty of that from my parents.you fall down they scold you for running around.you failed your test they nagged and say too much computer games.you fall sick they say its your fault for returning home so late.some times i wanna stab them with knife.cannot tahan
