will u be hurt if this happen to u?

upset SG

if u are 28, married with a happiy family, u have almost everything in life, an only child. U have always suspected tat u are adopted because of some feelings. Then One day, u muster up enough courage to know the whole truth and ask around. In the end, the truth is out that u are adopted. Ur birth parents had given u away because of poverty. U wanted very much to find ur birth parents, but scared that ur birth parents may not remember u. Or afraid that ur actions to find ur birth parents will hurt ur foster parent. what will u do?

mhcampboy SG

If it were me, I would forget about my birth parents.

For 28 years, you were brought up by your current family. They are your real parents. Nothing else matters.

Darkness_hacker99 SG

If is was me, I'll ask the current parent about the truth.

If the case it that I'm an adopted, I try to find out more about my birth parents' details.

Then, I'll find my brith parent and reunite together. I know this will hurt the current parent, but I have a suggestion.

My birth parents, will be the real parent..
I'll make my current parents as god ma and pa.

Treat both side nicely.

In this case, when the adopted one reunite with the biological parent, the current parent will feel very very sad.. Crying or Very sad

Have BBQ to get to know more for both sides~

When having reunion dinner, invite your god parent too Mr. Green v

Parkjisung SG

i think its better to find out more b4 u question them if not it may hurt their feeling cos they take care of u since u r born . mayb take their blood DNA ?

upset SG

In your opinion, do u think the birth parents had already forgotten about their child they gave up after 28 years?

Darkness_hacker99 SG

Now very high tech liao. TV say hair also can be use...

BrUtUs SG

go find ur birth parents but still hv to acknowledge tat ur foster parents brought u up and they should also b called ur 'parents'...

Darkness_hacker99 SG

Trust me. No mother would bear to part with her child which is together with her for 9 months. The bond is there!

I really believe that your birth parents are still thinking about you.

loudmonkey SG

no i dun think so. how can giving away children be so forgettable? This is probably difficult for the birth parents especially.

but on the other hand, sometimes things should be left as they are. Looking up birth parents and openly acknowledging them may seem quite insensitive to the foster parents who brought the child up.

Gackt247 SG

Parents >>>>> parenting..

U can go n find out who were ur birth parents.. but end of the day.. rem who did all tt parenting for u..

ndmmxiaomayi SG

Hmm... unsure. But knowing myself, I don't think I will ever bother finding out my real parents.

Just one reason - filial piety.

Darkness_hacker99 SG

Actually hor, my father is adopted de.. Mean my current paternal grand ma is foster de..

I wanna find my real ah-ma and ah-gong but my parents just refuse to give me the details.. That's about it.

upset SG

Sometimes, I feel a person can just be hard and pretend that nothing is happening, but often once we know the truth, its very hard not to be bothered about it. The foster mum is a very understanding person, definately, she will still be loved and respected. The only fear is the birth parents had forgotten abt her child she had given up. The only fear is rejection, If u have being rejected the first time as a baby and being given up, there is always a fear of being rejected a 2nd time..

Gackt247 SG

As the saying goes.. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

upset SG

Yes, i fully agree. But will u be hurt if everyone around u know the truth of ur background, but only u urself do not know for the whole of 28 years? life is always so unpredictable, when a person start to pursue the truth, he or she must be prepared to face the pain....

ndmmxiaomayi SG

Whether a person is unfeeling towards his natural parents, it's another issue. As the saying goes, yi zhong mi yang bai zhong ren (one type of rice raise all kinds of people). Some will want to know, some wish they never found out, some wish to find out but will never admit they are their parents and the list goes on.

I doubt that the birth parents will forget about their child. It's their own child after all. I have an uncle who has been given up for adoption since young, and he's now back with us. On close ties with the foster parents as well.

But you are right about fear. Once bitten twice shy is the mentality.

Gackt247 SG

sometimes i rather not know the truth.. Wink

alexkusu SG

the truth may not bring happiness, and happiness may not contain the truth.

pwnz0r SG

I wont give a damn about my birth parents, unless it turns out they are really rich. You may say I’m mercenary, but dun tell me you will walk away from a potentially large inheritance.

zeny SG

Why is there a need to find out when is better to be left alone?

What are u seeking for?

Maybe the reason for you to seek is becos you are too content with your state of life.