Why? Why can't I just have the things I want for once in my
life? Why is it always so ironic? Why is it when I want something,
it always run away? Why is it so hard to find someone to
love?
Why is it so hard to woo someone when it gets older? I have decided
to ask her out purely as friends and she accepted the first date
without any hesitation. After the first date, I find her a very
nice lady but right now I have asked her out 2 times and both times
got those "see how" first reply.
What have I done that have gone wrong? Why all these years my luck
with girls are so bad? So many girls yet none stayed. Am I only
suitable yo be good friends and not a lover? In the past, it was
not like that. I had 3 gfs before and ever since the last one when
I decided to settle down I could not find anyone.
I have socially active and I join many activities and talk to many
girls yet the most I can go is being friends. I am not ugly nor
anti-social yet sometimes I find my friendliness taken for granted.
When I care too much, nothing seems to work out. But when I become
a bastard, I get what I want. Why is life so ironic?
In work, I always thought I would get a job where I would meet a
good boss who saw potential in me. I don't consider myself stupid
but yet all I get a job was simply an average paid job with no
growth potential. Yet some of my peers who are academically lousier
than me get a higher paid job than me. And worst of all I get a
boss that is a joker and a job environment that emphasise on
papers.
All I want is a simple and happy life but why am I getting the
opposite? Is it really so difficult to find love in this
materialistic country?
