Lost in the abyss

l0st-s0ul SG

Dear Aunt Agony, Im so lost.

I have met this girl a few weeks ago. We have chatted and smsed and we get along fine. So far, we have gone out on 2 dates. However, after the dates, I find that she seems different from before, she isnt as warm as before. U must be wondering what I did or tried to do during the outing. Seriously, I did nothing extraordinary, neither was it ordinarily boring.

I dont really know what Im so attracted to her about. I wont say she's hot nor a head-turner. But to me she is nice. The worst part is, I dont know what about her is nice. Maybe it's just her.

U must be thinking that this is ridiculous, knowing a girl for only a few weeks it must be infatuation. Well, before u hit the back button of ur browers or prepare to type +1, I too sincerely hope it's just merely infatuation and nothing more.

Recently, I hinted to her if we could be more than just friends. The gist of her reply was to take things naturally, but dont rule out the possibility. And dont take it too hard if we become together or not.

I think females are the most complex species in the universe. If u had asked the question above to a male, it would be simply either yes if I like her or no if I dont like her. Asking a female, would bring about a whole lot of theories and calculations before finally coming up with an relatively ambiguous answer. I have studied cryptoanalysis and understand the algorithm behind DES, AES, MD5, SHA-1, etc. However, the answers females give are sometimes beyond mind boggling. I believe that the strongest, uncrackable algorithm would the female mind.

In my next thread, I'll talk more about the 4 letter word which women absoultely love, while the men dont.

Well, lets not get out of topic. So, Aunt Agony, does this mean it's time for me to move on?

Bontakun SG

Read the part in red. I can see one thing. Time. Take time to know her more. Put aside the feelings for her and simply enjoy the friendship. Is it too hard to do it? Virtually every guy and gal are doing it, why can't you?

You can move on if you want to, its your choice.

Yunhaier SG

You sure you never do anything? Or is it just that you don't know what you have done that might have causes you the marks in the impression quotient?

Taking things too fast and furious often revealed bad consequences. Before you know it, you might have accelerated out of control and lose grip of your situation like a malfunctioning motor bike crashing into a tree.

Man often lament how they don't understand woman to make an effective chase; I throw the question back at you - do you even understand yourself enough to win over your woman? Employing wrong strategies is enough to kill most chase - you don't have to break the 'woman's code' before you could succeed in the chase (although it's significantly easier).

I have always equated your kind of situation to bad selling. A good salesman doesn't always have to study the module - Consumer Behaviour - before he's certified as an excellent salesman. Selling has several different aspects, from preparation to post mortem. But eventually - what' matter most is your delivery.

Have you encounter cases where the product is excellent, but the delivery/presentation of the salesman simply turns you off and eventually no sale/s is made?

I asked the retailer before and this is what he told me.

'Aiya, one look I know they won't buy one.'

A classic excuse often used by retailer.

Are you like the retailer?

Does your failure stem from your lack of understanding about woman?

Think about it. Idea

Cheers

l0st-s0ul SG

Hey, thanks for ur reply. I always knew u'll be here giving helpful advice. I would have to admit that I dont really understand women. My concerns are if she doesnt give a sign I wont know what to do next.

For example, if she thinks there's a possibility of progression, I would know what to do such as to give ourselves more time so that we really understand each other. It's really sad to know a relationship which has potential just fizzles out because both parties dont relate to each other. I also absolutely understand the need of time to establish a bond, it would be totally pointless in rushing into a relationship and breaking it the next week.

On the other hand, if she thinks there isnt any possiblity of being more than just friends, I would glady and gallantly back off like a gentleman and we'll just remain friends.

Right now it's like quite wierd to ask her out alone cause I think that's more than just being friends and in this case is what we are not. So is this friendship just gonna fizzle out like a can of coke left in the open?

Oh by the way, the metaphor u used "Before you know it, you might have accelerated out of control and lose grip of your situation like a malfunctioning motor bike crashing into a tree." gives me creeps cause I ride a bike and it's really scary. Touch Wood!

(p.s the way u start with an arrow is cute) Wink

soulwinner SG

Hmm.. same old stories....

Very Happy

Yunhaier SG

Originally posted by l0st-s0ul:

Hey, thanks for ur reply. I always knew u'll be here giving helpful advice. I would have to admit that I dont really understand women. My concerns are if she doesnt give a sign I wont know what to do next.

For example, if she thinks there's a possibility of progression, I would know what to do such as to give ourselves more time so that we really understand each other. It's really sad to know a relationship which has potential just fizzles out because both parties dont relate to each other. I also absolutely understand the need of [b]time to establish a bond, it would be totally pointless in rushing into a relationship and breaking it the next week.

On the other hand, if she thinks there isnt any possiblity of being more than just friends, I would glady and gallantly back off like a gentleman and we'll just remain friends.

Right now it's like quite wierd to ask her out alone cause I think that's more than just being friends and in this case is what we are not. So is this friendship just gonna fizzle out like a can of coke left in the open?

Oh by the way, the metaphor u used "Before you know it, you might have accelerated out of control and lose grip of your situation like a malfunctioning motor bike crashing into a tree." gives me creeps cause I ride a bike and it's really scary. Touch Wood!

(p.s the way u start with an arrow is cute) Wink [/b]

The flawed education system here screwed up the minds of Singaporeans (especially people of this generation). Everything is programmed subtly by this system to follow the chain of command/orders and being told what to do. They cannot function without first having a direction to the next step and generally fail badly in areas outside this safe zone.

But does love work this way? Obviously no.

Love never worked in an absolute manner - it's often the grey that it residue.

How would a friendship fizzle into nothingness if there wasn't a problem in the first place? (And we are not talking about the natural degeneration of bonds through time because you only knew her for a short period of time and that isn't really applicable in your situation)

You mentioned about your perception of a 'potential relationship' - have you ever thought of the possibility that although, it may appear as a 'potential relationship' to you, but it may not be so for her?

On whether you should remain as friends or to continue the pursue; analysis your own situation and make your own choice my dear. Because to me, both are equally feasible - it's only a matter of perception and decision. If she doesn't give you the cue to the next move, you strike out and plan your next move.

Only then you will learn through your experience and benefit. Idea

Cheers

Yunhaier SG

Are you trying to hit on me? Confused

Cheers

¡ÚTearsofTheMoon¡Ú SG

girls are unknown creature.

Full stop.

We will always don't know what they were thinking. Confused

l0st-s0ul SG

Once again, thanks for the replies. I would have to agree with u that love doesnt work that way. According to Cupid, love is blind and love doesnt have reasons. Since I dont have wings, neither do I have a bow and a heart shaped arrow, I guess I would have to let nature take it's course.

Well, u cant really hit on another person when ur heart's stolen can u? Wink
I have been seeing ur replies for few years now, the arrow is ur trade mark. Smile

Yunhaier SG

Haha... actually Parka started that first. I merely continued his motion further through regular posting.

Cheers