When the expressions loving yourself or self-love are first
heard, there may be confusion about what is meant. This is because
we think in terms of the love we are familiar with, dependent love.
If we try to love ourselves, we may take an approach similar to
that used in dependent love, using ourselves as the object of our
love. We may try to escape into ourselves, as we escaped into
others. We may become self-absorbed and self-indulgent, putting our
own needs first. The motive is still to escape. We reject
unhappiness and, in so doing, reject ourselves.
Self-love has nothing to do with using yourself as the object of
your love. Self-love means that your love comes from within, is
generated from within, not from loving any object because it may
please you tremendously, whether that object is someone else or
yourself. Self-love is a condition of awareness, a way of
perceiving, an attitude, which results in an integrated perception
of the world.
The art of loving yourself begins with self-acceptance. They are
essentially the same. You begin loving yourself when you stop
rejecting yourself, especially on the feeling level. When you
practice self-acceptance of your feelings as they are now, you will
experience real changes in consciousness. You no longer try to
juggle people or possessions in the external world in order to find
fulfillment. You find fulfillment from within, simply by accepting,
without acting out, your feelings as they are right now.
Do not underestimate the importance of self-acceptance. It can end
the emotional pain that you feel or lead to the spiritual
experience you want. Starting with the mundane, you will reach the
highest of inner realization. In welcoming all your feelings, you
become whole; life becomes holistic. You experience oneness. You no
longer compulsively search for oneness in the external world,
whether with another person or with an achievement. You accept and
love yourself.
http://www.emclear.com/Emotions_lovingyourself.html
Be active in volunteerism.
This things/changes take time.
