TS, she's my gf now.
I mentioned that I was once in your shoes, facing somewhat similar
situations. I had confessed to her too and she didn't reject or
accept me. She just told me she wasn't sure as she felt that we do
not really know each other well enough then. (We knew each other
for 5 months) Sounds familiar to you?
Like you, I was really depressed and was actively looking for
answers. I mean how terrible can one feel when you expressed
interest to a girl and yet, you don't get a response and ended up
with a riddle thrown back at you. At that point in time, I really
tried to find out what she meant, by observing her actions and her
behaviours whether she's comfortable with me when we're out
together, thereafter. I found that things remained practically the
same between us. There wasn't any feeling of awkwardness or
easiness between us...
You did a good thing by confessing to her and making your feelings
known. You felt better after that don't you. Once is enough to test
waters. To gauge where do you stand at that point in time. When she
gives positive/negative responses, it'd have been easier for you to
move on right. BUT it's neither. So you shouldn't pop that
question/confess to her anymore. Once is enough to get the anxiety
off your back and let her know your intentions. You've got past
stage one.
Like I mentioned she might not really know you well enough to trust
you. Trust is not just about lunch and dinner dates. Or is it about
roses and diamond necklaces (it works for some girls though) She
doesn't know your family background, your friends, your financial
background, your present problems etc. And all these equates to
whether she sees a future between the two of you. She's the kind of
girl I feel, who portrays herself as an independant girl but rather
insecured when it comes to commitment. This is what usually happen
to girls at this age: Feelings vs What they actually want.
Since she did not reject you outright earlier on means that she
might have feelings for you. Based on the fact that most girls
would just reject you straight without leaving you any room to
breathe. But on the other hand, she's not sure if you're the kind
of guy she's looking for or see a future in. She's considering you,
yet keeping her options open.
More often than not, if you keep pushing her to a decision or rush
into things, chances are, you'll get a red card from her. What I
suggest you can do now is
For yourself
1. Spend more time with other things, e.g.
Friends/family/studies/work
2. Focus on your goals and dreams. Your own life, not you and her
life.
For her/the both of
you
1. Be around for her, when you know her bad habits or weaknesses
(not everyday see/call each other) e.g. if she's always late for
sch/work, give her a morning call. If she has the habit of skipping
meals, remind her. Do these by not jepordising your own time. It's
about piorities.
2. Get her dependent on you or want to be reliant on you. This is
the hard part. Yet the most effective method when things move
beyond the stage of initial attraction. How? I leave it to you to
find out.
By doing all these, you give her the space she needs, and shows her
you're a patient and reliable person. You will slowly gain her
trust that your interest for her is not just on a superficial
level. Girls loved to be respected, not pushed. When you're
focusing your time on improving your life, she sees you as a guy
who is decisive and confident, someone who knows how to handle his
life properly, thus being able to handle her and the love life if
bound to be.
