what do i do???

kuri SG

the last thread http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=233274&page=18 was getting too long so thought it might be easier to follow up from here:

btw his parents do know about me cos he once joked to his dad that he's taking me to ROM to test his reaction. how did things get so complicated..really need to figure out what to do now..

Devil1976 SG

Sounds like there's a serious lack of trust between the 2 of you... Hidding from a problem and pretending that it doesn't exist often won't just make the problem go away...

It's even more disturbing when he even proposed a marriage on top of all the problems both of you are facing and over such a short period which both of you are in this relationship... He doesn't seems all that capable of solving the problems in the relationship on hand, nor to be able to think what priority he should be having before jumping into a marriage... It seems quite likely that he's also only just hoping that a 'miracle' would happen after the marriage.. Very much seems like one who blindly believe that going into a marriage would 'somehow' just SOLVE MOST of the problems between 2 people if not all...?

NotFromVenus SG

Hey , if nobody have problems they would be Monks and Nuns !

Seen through the walks of life !! so Why bother to get married when all problems are solved ???

Isn't it another way to look at things is to get together and solve the problems as a married couple ???

Devil1976 SG

Not meaning to solve ALL PROBLEMS... But SOME problems are just NOT meant to be carried forward into a MARRIAGE...

NotFromVenus SG

Exactly what are these problems?

Devil1976 SG

Too many to be listed in general... But for her case, it would be TRUST ISSUES, SERIOUS lack of FOUNDATION, and strong INCOMPATIBILITY...

And it's absurb to be talking about marriage at this point when they have not even been dating over quite an amount of time...? It also seems that this guy is much more interested in the idea of 'marriage' alone than showing much of any other interest in solving the problems on hand... So what makes you think that he would even be doing something about the problems after the marriage?

Marriage is no joking matter you know...? You seriously think she should be taking that kinda chance with this 'gamble'?

Devil1976 SG

Hmm... Cool

crofty SG

whatever is the situation,think twice as this concern your future

most importantly,do u love him? Embarassed

blu_sky SG

In what ways are they incompatible, devil?

rainee SG

I tot the guy alrady said he mentioned marriage just a joke?

blu_sky SG

how can anyhow joke about getting married?

rainee SG

well maybe he just mentioned it thru the SMS as a way to test kuri's reaction, the same way he tested his dad's reaction last time...

anyway, it is actually very easy to decide what you want to do...tell him you want a cooling off period and during then just ask yourself: do you love him or not?

if no, let him go. it will be better for both of you.

blu_sky SG

TS is emotionally attached to him, despite she may or may not love him. i think thats wat holding her back. plus he was willing to take so much sh1t from her, did move TS alittle.

btw, i like your avatar Wink

rainee SG

thanks Mr. Green

emotionally attached not equal to love. that's why kuri shud take a break from this guy and seriously analyze her option...

blu_sky SG

Breaking needs resolute and strength.

rainee SG

yea, but I am just asking her to take some time off to evaluate her feelings for this guy. If she really feels she is in love with him and not inside the r/s just becos of the pressure he puts on her, then she can go back to him...

ILPSY SG

It will all depend on what the TS wants at the end of the day.

Right now, she can't make up her mind, thus, leading to all these problems.

Its just like snowballing.... getting bigger and bigger and she will be even more confused than ever.

smudgey SG

I agree....

Some problems you MUST solve before you commit more...

TS, Pls decide ASAP... the longer you drag, the worse it gets

smudgey SG

YES EXACTLY what i have been telling TS

Bontakun SG

With reference to the previous topic Kuri has cased up, "Love has no reason?", my opinion still stand. I can only reinforce my statements with the same advice I put in Kuri's earlier topic.

Kuri, you now have to decide (again) are you going to go ahead with this relationship with him to a deeper level? His "proposed" marriage issue may have you confused, but bear in mind what level of commitment you and he have to make. Think carefully you want to go ahead or backtrack.