i think you gotta figure out WHY suddenly in year 3 of yr poly
you experienced a change. there must be a trigger event.
you think that people talk bad about you and try to push job to you
in NS. is this a fact or your perception ? if its a fact, then i
think it's normal to feel sianz to be caught in such a situation.
so i don't think you need to blame yourself for feeling this way,
except not to take it so hard otherwise life will be tougher
because you can't quit NS.
if its your perception and not a fact that people talk bad about
you and push job to you, then you just need to be aware that it's
your perception that's creating the perceived problem. so change
that perception by working on your thinking and how you see/feel
about things. to be able to do that, you have to do some
soul-searching starting from what is the trigger event in year 3 of
yr poly.
