The importace of Courtship?

last SG · 2007-01-11T22:20:48+00:00

there are times where no 'chasing' is done. things just happen suddenly.

Devil1976 SG

NICE. Cool

Devil1976 SG

Honestly.. I don't see where's the irony at all..? Cool

royale9 SG

yes correct.. i also agree .. but think u all misunderstanding.. not askin on how to become someone i;m not....
my idea of a courtship also does not involves acting or being someone u r not..
i have this idea that u just have to be natural and confident.. and after reading the curiousorange article as posted above.. think it further confirms it..

u mentioned that IF the girl is attracted to you.. than she will come to u.. yes i know...

then for those case that the girl just feels ok for u or not attracted to u at 1st.. then nothing will blossom? or even if something works out, it will be short lived?
am i right to say that NO amt of courtship will ever work if the gal is not attracted to u in the 1st place... so everyone shld just move on if the gal is not into u

if the above is true, then doko is right all along

Yunhaier SG

What for you bother who's right?

Different people... different cosmic lessons.

I suggest you should find your own answers because others' experience, may not be completely applicable to you. Actually to me, you are merely putting yourself at different perspectives - what matters is WHICH perspective you chose to inculcate into your core beliefs. Idea

Cheers

smudgey SG

agreed auntie yun.

royale9, as i said, if a gal doesn't like you, no amt of courtship can help, if she likes you, just a little courtship will do (every gal likes to be wooed).

and if she is neutral, courtship might help you attract her attention. and impress her.... but bottom line will still lie in how she feels about you.

xtreme223 SG

if the gal is attracted to u, what will she normally do?

gals pls help to ans

dokono SG

haha..

I did not know I made you think so much with my posts.

pls note that me and Yun are not arguing although we disagree on certain issues. We are just having an exciting discussion.

dude, are you chasing someone now? also what are you trying to get out of this post? What are your main concerns? Courtship is not important ?

doko

alwaysdisturbed SG

now, i don't go after girls. just wait for things to happen or let it go naturally.

alwaysdisturbed SG

personally i don't consider courtship when in a relationship.

but if you do then i would say courtship is necessary. but i think the 'going after' process before getting together to be bf and gf is not necessary.

alwaysdisturbed SG

haha, maybe you don't understand.

Devil1976 SG

It depends on the clause for your 'going after'.. Some girls just love the feeling of that or believe in these, so they choose to incorporate 'courtship' into their relationship process...

Others... Which I think is likely to mean the majority...? Probably doesn't fancy you as much equally... Hence the longer you take for 'courtship' to work, it MIGHT suggest that initial 'liking' she holds for you is relatively not that high or significant... So end of the day she'll probably still be stuck with more or less of the same 'feel' while in the relationship with you, even if you manages to get her somehow...? Unless something sort of drastic happened during the courtship sotr of made her change her 'feel' of you almost totally... (Which I must say is relatively of a much lower chance of happening)..

Just like you've suggested... Courtship might not have even existed in the 1st place? If the 'bond' and 'feel' is good, do you think the other party would even as easily let go of you? (unless she has extreme inferior character) Just that sometimes some things just don't happen for no reason... That's when 'courtship' (pre-relationship) comes in in various forms...

dokono SG

it depends.

sometimes if you are lucky, the girl might chase you.

But then again, most girls have more guys chasing them than guys having girls chasing them.

doko

Bontakun SG

Speaking from experience? Cool

How come I seem to see dis topic hor I cross reference with the topics in Dating Advice can get alot more info? Confused

royale9 SG

lol

this topic serves more like a reflection... on my past experiences as well..

oh ya.. u can say that.. recently i was chasing this someone... personally asked for her number and she gave it to me.. sms her a bit.. got to know a bit on her background.. then called her to ask her out.. but she refused.. not heartbroken... maybe a little annoyed but nothing serious.. and so i kind of like pause and reflect on all my past experiences...

sometimes people here like to start threads like " need advice to chase gal" , "how to get a gal to be interested in me"

so i stopped to ponder... is it neccessary? even if u succeed it probably won't last will they?

anyway smudgey has just answered some of my questions.. thanks

royale9 SG

bingo! pretty in depth..

royale9 SG

hey sorry la..

decided to post here since the response in AA alot better than DA.

and my initial post got alot of references to doko posts.. so i post here since he frequents here.... later he tht i backstabbing him.. lol

dokono SG

what were her reasons(or excuses) for refusing?

doko

dokono SG

backstab for what ? lol

doko

royale9 SG

ok in detail..

called her on a weekday evening, surprised that she picked up the phone almost immediately... ask her to meet up.. and she say tired so don want.. since just came back from sch.. then i suggested next week... and all of the sudden the line got cut.. thought she hanged up... but few secs later she called back and told me "sorry la here no reception".. after that i ask her sunday leh? and she said sunday confim not free. which might or might not be true.. but heck la.. not going to chase her liao..

hmm.. i think i know wat u're going to say.. drop her... lol

Tactics, Mindset and Life - ::: by CuriousOrange

best to have this person's mindset

dokono SG

yeah. she doesn't like you. haha. don't waste your time anymore.

yes, good to have this person's attitude. Btw, how old are you?

doko

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