... but it'll make me feel better. I need to let it out, the
words struggling in me deep down.
Here goes..
It doesnt matter the things Ive
done, or the things Ive chosen not to do.. because whatever Ive
done, I musta done something right to end up with you..
Im sorry for the times you felt neglected. But why didnt you tell
me so? Wed always said to talk things out, to open up more, to
communicate, to understand. How come we never get them done?
How did we ever end up like this? I really wonder how you are
now.
I regret not telling you how I feel deep down always, that now, it
is so hard to even try to open my mouth and speak to you. Friends
say I should stop hiding myself in one corner, I NEED to VOICE OUT.
I need to make myself more significant. But I dont know how.
For the moments we had together, I daresay I truly cherished every
bit, deep down. I know I may not say it nor even show it out...
well, doesnt matter as long as I know.. it was a path we took
together I felt worthwhile.
My actions and words have made you numb, I wasnt feeling exactly
fine too.
Tears welled up. Guilt-ridden. Mutual Feelings. Pain. The lonely
times. Sorry.
Youve asked for a time-out. Alright. For the past few days, Id
been thinking a lot. Im scared, Im afraid. This feeling is almost
so familiar. The kind of restlessness and fear.
You have no idea how much I missed you. As much as I wanted to
spend the past few days with you, Im sorry I dont have the
courage to even ask. What should I say when I see you? How should I
behave? Normal? Pissed? Like strangers?
So many doubts on my mind. I never know the right way to handle
them. I always run. I always pretend that everythings alright.
Ive always thought that by keeping quiet and just close my eyes,
itll all go away, and things will be better the next time round.
But
Im wrong.
Weakling. Yes, I am.
Now, keep me anticipating. Set me thinking. Till the time-outs
times up. Till we do THE TALK. Till we can try together
again
Else
I just hope
I will grow from this...
Thanks for letting me 'rant' out, guys.
And... I know, zillions & millions of people have said this
many many times before, you won't find it true YET. It may just be
another sentence going in from your left ear, and out your right.
BUT, until you get to realise the true meaning of the quote, it may
be too late already.
That is, CHERISH YOUR LOVED ONES BEFORE THEY'RE GONE.
sigh........
