I'm a person whose not gifted in the art of conversation thus
I've only 1 friend or so in the current stage of my life. (8
years)
I've tried to change myself by visiting a cosy kinda of pub for
more than a year. I find myself being able to open up more with the
guys than the ladies there. (I'm not gay, I still love conventional
porn)
I just wanna know what's happening to my social life as everything
seem to be out of order. Many a times while I'm alone, I've told
myself that I've manage to conquer loneliness because I've
conquered many things in life but nevertheless, I knew I was lying
to myself.
All I want in my life is to seek a life-long companion, my other
half.
I just want people to know that this is the real me, am I
committing a sin by being quiet?
Why can't people out there see my other skills or feats?
I own quite a keen sense of observation, I'm loyal, I love to help
my friends out ect.
Just recently, my buddy told me that I got to change my image, so I
went to the hair salon where he works to get my image done for
free.
I looked good, I was quite happy with the results but somethings
just don't change; that's my inner self.
I felt that God has wasted his efforts on me by giving me the
ability to speak.
Sometimes, before I sleep, I just felt like crying silently with a
pillow on my face but always, my ex BMT OC's words would surface on
my mind, "A man owns 2 very personal and precious things in his
life, that is his tears and his balls. Never let any one of them
get detach from your body." Hence I swallowed it back and take it
like a man.
Must I be overly spontaneous or rich to look for a lady to spend my
remaining time with?
Somehow, old quotes by a forumer has come back to haunt me,
"However mighty a man is, without a companion, he'll feel lonely
and vice versa, however independent a woman may be, without a man,
she'll feel insecure."
Are common topics being the reason for my obscurity? Because I'm
jolly well sure that ladies out there won't bother about my intrest
which is military history.
Now, I've told you guys about myself, I would kindly appreciate
comments and advice regardless of it being positive or negative
ones. Thanks alot.
