Cheating! - Where do you draw the line?

last SG · 2006-12-07T11:45:02+00:00

sounds good , thats means i can be massaged and at the same time my missus can keep and eye on me? let me think about it

spencer99 SG

Hi,

In your relationship, what constitute cheating?

Could you share what your definition of cheating is? Did you discuss this with your significant other? Do you think you guys have the same understanding of cheating?

At what point do you think it is cheating?

For example, for women, flirting and dancing with a attractive men in a pub who chat you up, do you think of that as cheating?

How many of you think that you actually "cheated" in a sense but think that because it is "mild" (like above), it doesn't even make you feel guilty?

Space1999 SG

secretly in communication with the other sex without your partner knowledge
internet is the biggest avenue of cheating nowadays

spencer99 SG

hmm... this means that really a lot of people "cheat"!

Space1999 SG

yes , white lies they call it, it may result in harmless nothing , but!
this is the seed of the bigger cheatings , affairs etc.
and oh
showing your naked body to other woman without your wife knowledge is also cheating Mr. Green

xShevchenkox SG

Hmm if the gal/guy like another guy/gal...when he/she is in a r/s, it is considered cheating liao...
the mindset is considered wrong already
Or when the guy/gal two timing when he/she is in a r/s..

Flirting is okie la..but cnt too much la..If u are single..u are free to flirt as much as u want..own preferences mah..but when u hav a partner le..dun so much lo..must tell urself to be commited and faithful when u are in a r/s

l noe there are alot of tempations outside..but alot of things...l believe u must ask urself..whether u are doing the thing in the right way or not lo..

In a r/s..l believe in the way of using right and wrong theories...

the_don SG

for me cheating = unfaithfulness
unfaithfulness = doing things that only you should be doing with another person other than your wife/husband. that includes, thoughts, actions, words

Space1999 SG

such a long list can be in here
how about going to a movie with another girl or guy without your partner knowledge?
or..hmmm talking to another guy or girl on the internet till late night while your partner is sleeping, even though harmless talk

spencer99 SG

My question is...

Do people talk to their partners about these boundaries... or do people assume that their partners have the same understanding....

the_don SG

that is deceit. not unfaithfulness.

the person doing that better keep it really tight and not have any guilt feelings about it. reasons being this : when 1 party feels guilt, it will show in his/her treatment of his/her other half. often this means short temper, arguements etc due to his/her guilt. the end result is 2 unhappy people.

Space1999 SG

how about confiding with another guy your thoughts and emotions even though you have a bf, or even to a certain extent like an earlier thread
having a guy "guardian angel" even though you have a bf.

point is many r/s have a very blurred line nowadays, the thread between confidant and lover is easily crossed

Space1999 SG

deceit = cheating?correct?

blu_sky SG

So does that mean that having a bf/gf means that you have to cut off all ties with all your opposite sex friends regardless how good your friendship is? or how far back your friendship went?

spencer99 SG

do you consider..... footsie-ing under the table as cheating?

bascially for a gal to be footsied by a guy?

Will you ever "confess" to your partner on this type of cheating?

Space1999 SG

well sorry to quote your case, but its disturbing to have a bf and guy guardian angel at the same time, isnt it?
dont it threaten your bf status?and the Ga role can be blurred ,
lets face it , if a guy and a gurl is too close, the risk is always there, after all man and woman , always a sex issue there

Space1999 SG

thats cheating!hehe

blu_sky SG

i guess cheating or not, really depends on the intention of the parties involved. And honestly, why would one be 'footsie-ing' he has no intention to flirt (and therefore cheat)?

Space1999 SG

its true, but sometimes one party have no intention while the other has, hence the seed of cheating in planted there, while one have a very pure intention of friendship
the other will feign friendship to get what he/she wants.
will it bother you if your bf have a very close gf?and if she is hot too?

blu_sky SG

How would the bf status be threatened, if there is full disclosure of the other party, and there is no secret being kept?

How to have sex when the guy and the gal never go out alone?

ditzy SG

Its not always about the sex you know. Laughing

blu_sky SG

Well, that is where trust comes in. But it really takes cooperation from the bf too. The bf must be sensitive to his girlfriend's feelings. That includes absolute honesty.