Hi guys,
Just initiated a cool off with my gf. It has already been on my
mind for a while already. I plucked up the courage to ask for it
yesterday night. Reason being everytime after a quarrel, she would
hasten me for a solution, and seeing her so upset and hurt, i
usually give in by saying im ok already and make up with her.
Yesterday, i just felt too tired. She's my longest gf to date. A
looker she is not, average and a rather complicated history behind
her. However she wins with her charm and caring personality. Just
that i feel her love is sometimes too overwhelming. She will talk
about seeing a future together when im going overseas next year for
studies. She says she sees that im the one. All these pressure, i
just dont know how to handle. I mean im serious and committed with
her, but i dont like to make promises in the future when it does
not happen.
We dated very very briefly before getting together. Maybe briefly
wouldnt even come close. But we lasted a year plus. Endless
quarrels and differences. But that aside, sometimes i just feel
whether im limiting myself too much by not socialising. She on the
other hand, has dated quite abit, thus she's been in a few long
relationships to know what she wants. Me, i've only to say she's my
longest relationship partly because she's more initiative. I've
realised sometimes what one's insecurities can do in a relationship
and make both suffer. She's been having a hard time at work, and i
had to tell her that yesterday. It's really hard for me too. I just
needed to breathe....space to breathe. Mostly when we're together,
i feel i cant keep up with her. I cant keep up with her requests
and many other things.
Last night when i was in bed, just felt so hurt. Hurt for her, and
also i missed abit of the times we're together cos we've been
seeing each other almost every other day for the past 1 year or so.
Is it that i really liked her? Then why do i always think i deserve
a better and more prettier and demure girl? She's waiting for an
answer though she told me she dare not hope. Prayed to God, but i
need an answer.
