What is the hurry?

last SG · 2006-10-06T12:25:42+00:00

I must say I hardly know that guy! That's why I can't jump to any conclusion mah.... You and him brothers...?

ladie SG

Juz got to know this guy for coming a month, actually only 3 weeks to be precise. He has been goin after me since we first met. Treats me pretty well, but he is perpetually hurrying me into a relationship. He said he likes me alot and im the gal he has been looking for all his life. Told him more than 10 times, or is it 20 times, that we need more time to know each other. after telling him many times, he finally 'accepts' it but he is still talking about it all the time.

Hey, we juz got to know each other! 3 or 4 weeks? and he is not staying in spore. he does visit me every weekend (ie that is only 3 weekends so far). Yes we do talk over the phone for hours every nite, but so wat? can knowing and understanding process be expedited? Ya, then move on to the next stage already then wat? he is still goin to stay there, or at least at the moment untill next year (he said he is planning to relocate to singapore next year). So wat is the hurry?!

This is getting so infuriating!

He juz send me a sms about 'moving on to next stage' jokingly. Gosh! this is realli getting to me.

yes, we are not getting any younger. He is 36 and im 32, but so what? Honestly, what is the hurry?

kopiosatu SG

he's 36.

that's the hurry Laughing

rainee SG

tell him you would like to take your time and if he cannot compromise, just dun need to answer his calls anymore Laughing

mistyblue SG

if you do not feel confortable … it will be hard to progress on..

ladie SG

Ya! im 32 too, and im a gal. im not so gan chiong as to compromise knowing each other and rush into a relationship.

All the more cos im 32, im wiser not to rush into it. no? Rolling Eyes

The Den SG

It's so easy to fall into the 'trap', getting exciting too easily and freaking out your prince or princess charming..

Whether is 36 or 26 doesnt matter, he's excited about this relationship, and maybe you just need to rein him in and say you're not ready for just quick progress? Take it one step at a time if you must. Remember the feeling must be mutal.

Good luck Wink

<Precious> SG

Seems to me this guy is very anxious but naive.
No question that he has a huge crush on you from the way his feelings for you r probably very intense.........

In relationships, guys are usually the ones initiating +proposing things while gals r the ones controlling the pace the r/s progresses.

Here, u r right to exercise caution as the r/s is a very young one.

The guy's very anxious mebbe because he's never been in a real r/s or just that he wants to get into your pants.......!

Wink

ladie SG

sorry, would you please elaborate?

dork3d SG

Ask yourself: How do you feel about him?

Ask him: Why is there a rush to bring it to the next level?

Whether to bring the relationship to the next level definitely is not based on how much of communications have been established, but more importantly on how much you understands him and he understands you...

Also you need that trust factor to bring things further... Especially in your situation, he's not a local? It might appear that he could be a love scammer who is out to prey for victim for sex that's all...

Me agree that you are not young at 32, but you are wise to make that choice...

ladie SG

Yes!!! Trust factor. You spoke my mind! He is a foreigner. for all you know, he could even be married in his country! We need time to establish a lot of things, thereby build trust, no? Sorry, that is the skeptical and irritated me talking. Im so irritated and this is realli getting to me.

Yes, i do feel positively towards him. But can you be cornered and rushed every day or every other day!?!? How much positive feelings can withstand such pressure and annoyance?

I did ask him that question. He said cos he liked me so much. And i do have many guys goin after me, being together will give him sense of security cos im the faithful type when im in a relationship. Aiya, i think it is juz a guy's thing to want to shorten the courtship process, cos in a relationship, guys need to do less work and enjoy the security and of cos, intimacy.

dragg SG

did you ask him what he meant by next stage?

se x or marriage?

you will have a clearer picture by then.

Mr. Green

ladie SG

we are friends now, and next stage would mean relationship, marriage would be skipping relationship stage already rite?

relationship would include intmacy like holding hands, hugs and of cos sex (juz a matter of time rite?)

ladie SG

ya, he says he can compromise, but keep asking me everyday, joking about it everyday, and verbalising his thoughts about it everyday.

and when i get pissed off, then apologised and said he wasnt tryin to pressure or rush me.

viciouskitty74 SG

Have you done a background check on that guy?

It might be he is looking to settle down fast. However, most guys with the means to settle down for a family, prefers the female to settle down with him at his chosen country. Least likely at the females choice of country.

Make sure at least that he can instead bring you over to his choice of country to live before you make a commitment.

Check his finances and his actual ability to start a family. Dont take a vague, I love you blah blah at its face value.

He might just be using you as an excuse. And when things go wrong, he can simply just say its your fault that he sacrifice blah blah blah and he wants out. These kinda guys just tend to try to push blames to everyone else but himself.

redpicanto SG

Since both of u are in the 30's, maybe he thinks you too are wanna get marry ASAP. However, men will alway treats a gal very well when they are dating or trying to get to know a gal. Dun rush, most important is to find out more about his family, get to know each other more, his likes and dislikes, character and lastly his $$$$.

Mr. Green

caleb_chiang SG

Different people got different personalities… Can’t really blame him though…

ladie SG

How to do a search? we dun realli have any common friends.

Yes, he wants to settle down, accordingly. His work allow him to travel alot, so he is thinking of relocating to spore cos im here (he is planning is work such that that can be achieved next year, according to him).

He had talked about it too, if all things progress well, he will like to be with me and maybe get married by next year end.

But hey! wats the hurry now? it is only 3 weeks!!!

hisoka SG

hes rushing cos he wants to see fast and good reurns for his investments so far b4 he invests some more.

it could be that so far you have been giving the signal that you dun wanna move on(yes you prob said that you were just not ready yet, btu then again we all know that can be a convenient excuse even if you really mean it in this case). at 36 he no time to waste le mah, plus the effort; so if you jsut playing wth him to get hte attention and company then faster find out lor. Laughing

blowfish SG

he want kids Surprised

ladie SG

i think guys with such thinking oso needs to see things from their 'investee's' point of view. Im 32, most ladies in 30s are usually looking at settling down cos it is really not that young. As for playing with him to get his attention? ermm..... honestly, i've got enough on my plate to 'use' guys to waste my time. And this, he knows that.