Originally posted by dokono:
hmm...
I agree when you said best friends help you when there are times of
need. But best friends cannot be intimate with each other unless
when there's chemistry it may bring over to the line of
lovers.
But when it comes to being your gf/bf, things are different. We
place special priority over the best friends at times. There's a
tendency that we will treat our lovers better than best friends.
Also, when it comes to r/s stuff, we also expect our partners to
treat us well. There's a form of expectation there from both
partners.
Don't get me wrong and don't put words into my speech by saying
that helping her when she is in trouble will cause her to be like
that. I want partners to help one another when there is trouble in
times of crisis.[b] But I think it's not good for the r/s to keep
treating your gf as someone who will constantly be your Aunt
Agony.
Trust me, it's not good for the r/s. Constantly treating your gf as
Aunt Agony as in keep complaining to her your negativities will
make her lose feelings because you are putting a lot of discomfort
onto her, ie pressure. Try to stay positive as much as possible.
Don't allow trivial stuff to cause your own self-esteem to be
wrecked.
The man is supposed to be a source of inspiration for the
lady, not to drown her with sorrows. Lady, I don't know
about you. Would you like it if your bf keeps telling you sad stuff
everyday, day in day out? I believe you are a very nice person and
will console your bf as much as possible. But if he keeps
complaining every single little thing to you every single minute as
compared to a guy who keeps being positive as much as possible even
though he is facing obstacles, who will you prefer?
That's my role as a lover. I will keep talking positives as much as
possible. I want my lady to be happy. It's not being deluded, it's
you looking at the bright side of things despite facing setbacks.
Life will always throw something at you and if you are always going
to be worked up, you are not going to live for long. So, always
stay positive, happy and encourage each other. Don't take yourself
too seriously and learn to laugh out loud easily, then move on. I
don't want to keep harping on problems after problems with my
girl.
After saying so much, so what is the difference between a lover and
a best friend? It's that, you can share your best friends with your
problems but try to stay away talking too much about your problems.
We do talk about problems but I will not want to keep talking about
it. The main priority of the r/s is to be a happy and upbeat one
all the way. It's how you see things. You can remain
positive or choose to be negative.
I know you may disagree but it's ok. It's how I see things should
be.
doko
[/b]
okie, I get your point about not talking too much about your
problems with your gf. But I do not agree with you about "the main
priority of a r/s is to be happy and upbeat all the way". The path
to true love is not a smooth one. If you insist on bottling
everything to yourself, then what's the point of having a
r/s?
As the saying goes, a problem shared is a problem halved. Sharing
problems do bring couples closer as well. Of course I do not mean
you should rant and complain to your gf every single day. But there
is no point in trying to keep yourself positive and upbeat every
single time just because you want your gf to feel happy and bottle
everything to yourself. if you keep everything to yourself just
because you do not want to pressure her, then one day you might
just explode yourself.
Even with my best fren, I do not keep ranting to him or her. But
when I have a big problem which I am troubled with for a long time,
I will kinda get it out of my chest by talking to them...but that
does not mean I will do this to them everyday.
Maybe you have the wrong definition of best frens as well.
