Chapter
2
I dazed blankly at my bed wall, recalling what happened, before it
dawned on me that I was actually medically ill for twenty years.
What a ghastly enlightenment!
The doctor diagnosed: I am suffering from Hydronephrosis a
congenital disorder where my ureter (the long, narrow duct that
conveys urine from the kidney to the urinary bladder or cloaca) is
naturally narrow. Think of this condition like a funnel with narrow
tube; water flowed slower, compared to one with a wider tube.
Relating back, therefore, years of accumulated fluids were trapped
within my left kidney, which causes the enlargement and dull aching
I had, unknowingly, over the years. Obviously, the kidney becomes
damaged over time.
The test has shown that your left kidney only got about 12%
function left
I freaked out when he revealed my test result. The word NKF was
flashing maliciously all over my mind. I couldnt imagine myself
going through dialysis and in fact, I would rather choose
death.
We are born with two kidneys and we can still survive with
one.
Sigh. A major operation was the final thing I had in mind the
renal specialist proposed that I were to undergo unilateral kidney
removing operation, in National University Hospital. Everyday, I
prayed for safety, hoping that I could complete my national
liabilities without a flinch, but looked at what happen now? I do
hear stories like chamber explosion of a M16 rifle that permanently
disfigured the poor soldiers (NSF) face for life. I just want to
ORD without problems and get on with my life.
I havent even embarked my inaugural journey of life
my higher
studies
career
and of course: a decent girlfriend
So many things listed in my personal billboard and I have yet to
achieve them.
How man? What if the operation becomes a failure? What if God wants
to bring me back home earlier?
I appreciated all my good friends and buddies, who gave words of
comfort during this shadowy moment of my life. It was too sudden
too unexpected, even for them to digest mentally when I revealed
about my sad medical condition. I needed all sort of positivity to
help prepare myself for this coming decisive battle and those
little encouragement gave me a lot of determination to banish the
what if.
I came on MSN and was flooded with messages.
I checked my phone and it was flooded with messages.
So are you scared?
It was Johnny my best buddy since my days in ACS (BR). We were
the best of friends since we knew each other. Sports, gaming,
fighting, gambling to chasing skirts there was nothing we didnt
do together or nothing we dont know about one another.
Promise me, my voice became serious, if anything were to happen
to me, please take care of Vicky
.
Gawd! exclaimed Johnny, Vicky is already history and you are
still pinning over her? And nothing will happen to you lah
You know Johnny, I had never really been in love and she was the
closest thing that could paint an example of what Love probably
means
She is, no doubt, a bad example: and you two have never even
started!
I couldnt respond to his reply. Words choked at where my throat
was.
Then I sighed.
Listen, began Johnny as he put his hands around me, what you
experienced is known to the common folks as puppy love. It was
pretty ethereal. In fact, it was what we all felt when we were
young.
Then how do you know if a Love was substantial?
Vicky wasnt even genuine in the first place! Come on, she was
just unstable.
Sigh
quite difficult to find someone whom is genuine and sincere.
I think my situation is worsened by the fact that I am not only NOT
good looking, but also unexciting. Think girls just get turned off
by me. People probably laugh at me for having blank pages in
aspects of love and relationship and now, I am struck with this
medical condition where it would be the end of me when my other
healthy kidney deteriorates
My eyes became watery.
Look, your thoughts are running wild because I know you are afraid
of tomorrows operation. Yes, I understand everything seemed to be
going wrong, but reassure that God is fair; he takes something from
you
he will give you something back in the future.
I hope you are right
seriously hope so
(To be continued...)
