I loved her very much. Really really much. But every time i knew
that she went out with another guy or i saw her sending message to
another guy, I would be jealous and dissapointed, and the worst of
all, i started to be paranoid. Every seconds I would be thinking
about her with another guy.
It's really tiring for me now as I'm having my o'level, I wouldn't
want it to affect my result. But at the same time, i wouldn't want
to see her with another guy either. Everytime she trys to hide her
phone when she is messaging, i will know it's a guy. Oh well, all i
can do then is to ignore. Pretended that i saw nothing and knew
nothing about it. Once, she ever show me that it was a guy, a guy
who liked her as well.
Perhaps I'm just a weak guy. I can't do anything about it. I'm
always thinking about her, 24/7 thinking what she is doing. All I
can do now is to watch her and protect her from harm. But i just
couldn't pick up my courage to stop her from seeing other guys. Why
is my life full of contradiction?
I really loved her. I did so much for her and yet she gave me this
in return. I'm lost now. Depressed and sad. I can hear my heart
shattering now. I didn't know if i wanna continue to do this or
not. I prayed to god and hope god would give me his blessing. What
a fricking life I had.
