Good day to you..
Just wondering if anyone can advise me on this little problem i am
having.
I am a 27 Female and have this boyfriend for 3 years++. He is the
same age as me. Allow me to summarise because its going to be quite
a complicated one.
Some of you here might be against the idea of cohabitating. Well, I
cohabitate with my boyfriend for all these years.
On our 1st year, he wrote 3 love letters via email to a girl (Let's
call her Miss L) he used to like. Upon sawing them, I took it real
bad and went devastated. I asked, he confessed. He said words are
cheap, no actions are done at all. His intention? To get something
off his chest once and for all. Since then, he gave me all his
passwords for his bank accounts, emails, etc, just for the sake of
assurance.
On our 1.5 years, he wanted to go for a 2 weeks trip to overseas
badly. I told him that I am tight and asked him if any friends will
go with him. He searched for a companion and Miss S agreed to go
with him. Apparently, I know Miss S used to like my boyfriend alot
but my boyfriend insists he sees her like a sister. He asked for my
permission to have Miss S as companion. I agreed.
1 day before she touched down (She is not a local), we quarrelled.
I was the one who initiated the argument because I couldn't take
the idea she is going with him alone. The argument was useless
because she was already on the plane. I gave up my bed and sleep in
the guest room so that Miss S can sleep in the same room as my
boyfriend. Well, a girl normally won't do such a stupid thing but
there are some reasons behind it. Miss S is a close friend to my
boyfriend's family and my boyfriend did not want her to know we are
cohabitating, in case she tells his parents. Therefore, I have to
sleep in the guest room. Throughout that 2 weeks, I was so bored
that I pestered my boyfriend day and night. Any girl will start
thinking...same room and on the same bed, nothing will happen? My
boyfriend said throughout the trip, nothing happened between them.
They took twin-bed room. Since he assured me on that and he also
said he regretted going for the trip without me, I took his
words.
1 week after the trip, there was a day when he left his handphone
in the toilet. (I didn't touch or purposely search for foreign
SMSes. He read the SMS and went out of the toilet, I went in
immediately after him). With a glance, I saw Miss S's SMS. To
paraphrase what she said, "I miss you very much. I'm in a difficult
time now and hope you are here with me." I confronted my boyfriend
and again, he assured me nothing has happened between them.
On our 2nd year, his family went against me. Too complicated so
wouldn't want to bore you. I told him, marriage is not just between
both of us, it involves 2 families and I asked him to give me time
alone. It was not an official breakup because we still spent time
with each other. During those time, there was a certain guy, called
Z, went after me. He didn't asked about my status and didn't know I
am still attached. So, I two-timed for 6 months and in the end, I
broke up with Z. No, my boyfriend is not even aware of Z's
existence, nor is Z aware too.
On our 3rd year, I hinted to my boyfriend about marriage, he kept
quiet. He didn't say a word at all. Just recently, I saw again that
he is flirting with Miss S over MSN. I don't feel hurt nor am i
devastated. I just pretended I didn't know anything and live life
normally. I beat around the bush and asked him a few
questions...e.g. "Do you consider yourself a flirt?" He said
yes.
"Any plans to settle down?" He didn't say a word.
"Are you serious with me?" He said yes.
He jokingly said if I can find a better guy, i can leave an asshole
like him. I am just puzzled.
My personal thinking is that he is still young and just want to
have more fun with more options out there. Like his mum told him,
don't get married so young, go out and get to know more girls. I
agreed with his mum and at the same time, I feel 3 years of
relationship is dragging my life because it has no conclusion. I
think its better to stop cohabitating with him because I feel my
presence forbids him to go out with other girls. I might not be his
best choice after all.
So guys, give me your opinions. Should I just hold on and wait
patiently or just dump him and leave?
Thank you.
