One friend says it's mid life crisis. Another friend says it's
depression.
Currently, everything goes well in my life. Good job, nice friends
etc.
But I don't seem to be happy leh. I don't know what is bothering
me.
I get bored with all the things I have even though I keep reminding
myself to be happy and contented with everything and that I am a
lucky person.
I try to have a bit of motivation by setting new goals. I thought I
just need a push to feel more fulfilling. But I am just not
interested in anything to set any new goals, new targets. I keep
feeling "I've been there, done that. What is there new for me
now?"
I notice that I smile less, laugh less. I feel physically tired
easily. Everything I suggest to myself to do certain thing so as to
feel less bored, I will always have a reason not to execute it
eventually. Eg. If I think of doing window shopping, after a while,
I will tell myself that it's so boring cuz I have done it so many
times.
Things that I have not done before, I will feel lazy to try
out.
I try going shopping, thinking that it should be interested. After
all, shopping is all ladies favourite past time. I can walk the
whole shopping mall and find nothing interesting or pretty enough.
I don't have any motivation or push to make me buy anything.
Makeup, nice dresses are all too boring to me these days. In the
end, in the past couple of months, I totally never buy anything for
myself, except toiletries and shampoo stuff that have run out at
home.
Even if you show me the nicest thing, I will tell myself "no point"
(ie. pointless to buy).
I constantly have this very lousy and sian feeling in me. I try
keeping myself very very very busy at work. It is true that when I
am loaded with works and deadlines, I feel slightly better. But
once I clear all my work, and relax a little, the lousy feeling
starts flowing into me. Then I have to find something to do
again.
Spending time with loved ones become too tiring for me.
In fact, last weekend, I literally sleep more than 15 hours each
day. I wasn't tired. But I just didn't feel like doing
anything.
I really dunno what is wrong with me.
Mid life crisis?
