There are 2 different camps.
I tend to think yes, you marry the family. Cause your husband came
from that place and he brings the many practices from that family
into your new family. His family would also inrtude into your
family life, like it or not. You as a daughter-in-law have to also
visit them and become a part of their extended family even if you
detest them. I can only say that if there is strong dislike, then
you have to think carefully about the future. If you like your
husband so much, you can learn to accept his family and try to
remain friendly with them. The expectation is just that you play
your role as a daughter-in-law, you are not expected to become
chummy with everyone. If you have to live with them, then it is
good to learn their habits and be prepared. Tolerance, patience and
sometimes acting deaf goes a long way. If there is anything you
cannot stand, then take advance action to ensure it does not happen
or avoid it from occuring too often.
The other camp is that you marry the man, not his family. Hence,
the family you start with him is separate from his family. It
depends on how close your guy is with his family. If his is not
close, he usually don't feel so much guilt. If your guy is very
close to his family, then there will be some difficulty. However,
sometimes you would still need the support of the extended family
especially during issues unless they are also equally cold and do
not care a bit. Then you are totally on your own. Usually, people
idealise couple-dom. Just as people also see people who live alone
have absolute freedom. Everything comes with a price.
I guess I cannot tell you what to do and which to choose. I can
only provide you the different views.
